tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22857998305509208812024-02-06T19:52:09.912-08:00The Girl Who Climbed TreesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-57238045944011941522013-03-11T23:48:00.002-07:002013-03-11T23:48:21.911-07:00So, wow :) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4LMhKpNzyVFF0pLTOAaAFoD4uF-L6PPo060i90vrKoc5UpgPI3-y9l5TNplCDo1VTRxB2SpNUvhIXHrtJUZvguehBATE7Q1MNbO55gczMHyIrNDzBil1o3yA0t0mnWYJIf7h1-EAAoE/s1600/Untitled-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI4LMhKpNzyVFF0pLTOAaAFoD4uF-L6PPo060i90vrKoc5UpgPI3-y9l5TNplCDo1VTRxB2SpNUvhIXHrtJUZvguehBATE7Q1MNbO55gczMHyIrNDzBil1o3yA0t0mnWYJIf7h1-EAAoE/s1600/Untitled-15.jpg" /></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-77855844723889173052013-02-23T02:00:00.002-08:002013-02-23T02:00:34.219-08:00How to Avoid Rape: A Practical Guide for Conservatives on TwitterSo, this came across my Facebook Stream today:
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<div class="dkimg-c">
<span class="image_container"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20365/large/NOTHING_SAYS_DON'T_RAPE_ME_LIKE_A_GUN.jpg?1361581703" /></span></div>
The reason for it-Apparently, while I wasn't paying attention, Michelle Malkin managed to turn a discussion on gun control in Colorado into a "rape prevention" debate, which then downward spiraled into an avalanche of rape jokes on Twitter. The hashtag <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23LiberalTips2AvoidRape&src=hash"><b>#LiberalTips2AvoidRape</b></a> (which Mother Jones has called <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/02/liberaltips2avoidrape-most-horrible-hashtag-week-explained-joe-salazar-colorado-rape-guns">"The most horrible hashtag of the week"</a>) somehow started trending, with predictably classy results:<br />
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All of this, apparently, was the result of a <a href="http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2013/02/joe-salazar-rape-guns-colorado.php">very stupid comment</a> a democratic State legislator in Colorado (who later apologized), which Malkin then falsely tied to a list of college campus rape prevention tips from 7 years ago <a href="http://www.blogger.com/michellemalkin.com/2013/02/18/colorado-morons-want-to-leave-women-defenseless-vomiting-or-urinating-better-than-carrying-a-gun/">on her blog</a>.
Seriously, you cannot make this shit up.
The fact that the gun lobby has been targeting the women's market by tapping into their greatest fears <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/guns/procon/equality.html">is nothing new</a>. What is new, at least to me, is the right's attempt to use that marketing to masquerade as anti-rape crusaders. Yes the party of "legitimate rape" is actually trying to pretend they are feminists. Or at least, not misogynists. Because guns. Apparently without much push-back.
It's almost funny, except it's not. Because as Leslie Salazar wrote in US News, <a href="http://www.usnews.com/opinion/blogs/leslie-marshall/2013/02/21/guns-cant-protect-women-against-rape">guns don't protect women against rape</a>:
<br />
<blockquote>
I must say, as a woman, and a woman who has been in a rape situation, on more than one occasion, it is offensive to try to tie guns with rape for the sake of attempting to win a political argument. It's not just pathetic; it's undignified. And it's a slap in the face to the thousands of women who have been victims. It even sickens me more when it's women attempting to make this argument. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
I think it's asinine to try to use any of the tactics reported in the past to ward off a rapist, it's just as asinine to think that if you can conceal and carry a weapon, a woman is protected from any potential rapist. In other words, a gun can provide security, but not in all situations.
</blockquote>
As a woman who has been yes, "in a rape situation" on more than one occasion, <i><b>including </b></i>when I owned a gun for self defense (which is pretty useless if the rapist is your live-in boyfriend) I could not agree more. What Salazar said was stupid and condescending. This is above and beyond that. This is turning rape survivors into a punchline, and doing so in a way that frames the issue of rape as, once again, something that women (and victims in general) are responsible for.
The "tip sheet" has been removed from the UCCS website, but here is a screenshot (h/t to <a href="http://globalgrind.com/news/colorado-college-suggests-urinating-vomiting-will-deter-rapists-rape-details">Global Grind</a>):
<a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20332/lightbox/ht_attacked_mi_130219_wblog.jpg?1361572370" rel="lightbox"><span class="image_container"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20332/large/ht_attacked_mi_130219_wblog.jpg?1361572370" /></span></a><br />
And you know what? It DOES deserve mocking, but as the kids say GOP, <i><b>yer doin it wrong</b></i>. And yer doing it wrong, because you are out of your element. Because TRULY confronting the absurdity of the #UCCS tips, and all of the other "Rape Prevention" tips routinely given to women, means addressing the underlying problem of rape culture itself-something you are clearly not willing to do because it would require looking in the mirror. So GOP, please proceed in making your fart jokes about rape victims, but in the meantime, below the fold I would like to offer my own <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23LiberalTips2AvoidRape&src=hash">#LiberalTips2AvoidRape</a> (inspired by this <a href="http://www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/campaigns/10-top-tips-to-end-rape/">bit of brilliance</a>) below the fold<b> ((TRIGGER WARNING))</b><br />
<b></b><br />
<a name='more'></a><b> </b>
<b>1. Be realistic about your ability to not rape people. </b>If you are prone to uncontrollable urges to rape, seek out help, and avoid situations where you might have an opportunity to rape someone.<br />
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<b> 2. If your instinct is to rape, start to scream-"I AM ABOUT TO RAPE THIS PERSON, SOMEONE STOP ME!!!!!!!!" </b>Keep screaming it until someone intervenes, or at least your potential victim has a chance to get away from you.
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20405/large/man-screaming-into-a-megaphone-_-c_16-photo-88021470.jpg?1361596021" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This should do the trick!</td></tr>
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<b>3. Keep your shoes on at all times</b>: Athletic trainers work best. If you feel like you are about to rape, they will enable you to run away as quickly as possible.
<b> </b><br />
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<b>4. Don't take time to look back, just get away.</b> Keep running until you find a place with no rape-able people, and call a mental health professional.
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20401/large/bigstockphoto_man_running_390212.s600x600_(1).jpg?1361595749" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Run! Run! Run like the wind!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>5. If you are putting someones life in danger, stop fucking doing that</b>
<b>6. Assume that the person you want to rape has a disease or is menstruating.</b> Better yet, assume that they have the worst flesh eating bacteria in the world inside of them. Assume they are filled with radioactive, toxic bio-hazardous materials. Convince yourself of this, and act accordingly.
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20402/large/1335.jpg?1361595812" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap">
Would you stick your penis in this?</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>7. If your date is defecating, urinating, or vomiting, this is a pretty good indication that they are not enjoying themselves.</b> Stop raping them.
<b> </b><br />
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<b>8. If your date is yelling, hitting or biting you*, this is a also a good indication that they are not enjoying themselves. </b> Stop raping them
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20403/large/post_rape.jpg?1361595902" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap">
This woman does not appear to be having a good time.</div>
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</tbody></table>
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<i>Note-This still applies if your date can do none of the above because you have immobilized her, </i><br />
<i>bound her, if you have your hand clamped over her mouth or have taped it shut. Assume that if she could, she would be doing all of these things</i>
<b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>9. Understand that some actions on your part, such as rape, may lead to more harm than not raping.</b><br />
<br />
<b>10. Remember, every emergency situation is different, but none of them require you to rape anyone. </b><br />
<br />
Some more advice...
<b> </b><br />
<br />
<b>11. If your date is not responding to you in any way whatsoever, not only are they not enjoying themselves, this is a good sign they are heavily intoxicated or unconscious.</b> Stop raping them, and call 911. They probably have alcohol poisoning.
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<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20406/large/drunk.jpg?1361596153" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap">
This person cannot consent to sex, no matter how much you wish it was so.</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>12. <b>Don’t put drugs in drinks that do not belong to you</b>. Whether or not you bought them is irrelevant.
</b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20427/large/article-1225854-071dbcb3000005dc-569_468x360.jpg?1361601003" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap" style="text-align: center;">
<i>Is that your cosmopolitan dude? Hm, didn't think so.</i></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><span class="image_container"></span></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<b>
<b> </b></b><br />
<b><b>13. When you see a woman walking alone at night, cross over to the other side of the street and leave them the hell alone.</b>
</b><br />
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20408/large/safety.jpg?1361596380" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't even think about it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><span class="image_container"></span></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap">
<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>
<b>14. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, please remember not to rape them!</b>
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20338/large/6a00d83451e86969e20120a54f9118970c-320wi.jpg?1361576403" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You are not allowed to rape this person. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="image_container"></span><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap">
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<b>16.If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, do not rape them.</b>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20409/large/portrait_of_african_woman_in_elevator_BLD035607.jpg?1361596536" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nope, not her either.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="image_container"></span><br />
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<b>17. Remember, people go to the laundromat to do their laundry.</b>Do not attempt to rape someone who is alone in a laundry room.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20342/large/16072141-full-view-of-woman-with-basket-of-clothes-in-laundromat.jpg?1361576405" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, not even her. So sorry :*(</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="image_container"></span></span><br />
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<b>18. Remember that a marriage license is not the same thing as a property deed.</b> You do not own your spouses body, and they are not required to have sex with you.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20431/large/MatrimonyCertif1M.jpg?1361607334" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look closely, there is no fine print on here that says "it is OK for the undersigned parties to rape each other".</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>19. Treat your lady like you would treat your car-</b> and don't rape her.
<b> </b></b><br />
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<b><b>20. Remember, having a sexual partner is not like owning a pair of jeans</b>-Once you have had "worn" them, that doesn't mean you get to put them on again, any time you feel like it.
<b>
</b></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20434/large/notthesame.jpg?1361610819" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not the same thing. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><b><span class="image_container"></span></b></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap">
<b><b><br /></b></b></div>
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<b><b>
<b>15. NEVER come in through an unlocked door or window uninvited. </b>Ring the doorbell, push the buzzer, call the phone, throw rocks at the window, serenade. No one likes to be "surprised" in such a manner.
</b></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20344/large/breaking-into-your-own-house.jpg?1361576409" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap">
This is not the proper way to greet your date.</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><b><br /></b></b></div>
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<b><b>
<b>
21. Use the buddy system! </b> If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend or two to stay with you while you are in public, and keep an eye on you.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20411/large/msvaw_3.jpg?1361596730" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Need a buddy? <a href="http://www.svtftampabay.com/mensinitiative.htm">These guys</a> would be more than happy to help you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>
22.Don't be a tease!</b> Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone just to take advantage of them. Consider telling them you are only interested in sex, and plan to rape them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that it as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20412/large/7ec01f349af261093d5ac1bcb4c4f4e1.png?1361596802" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honesty is the best policy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>23. Consider the message your clothing is sending </b>If you are dressed to appear as a nice normal person, you can't blame people for assuming you are one. Consider purchasing a shirt that says "I am a rapist", or getting it tattooed across your forehead.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20413/small/lisbeth-salander-3.jpg?1361596881" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div class="dkimg-cap">
Lisbeth would be more than happy to provide you with a tattoo</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>24. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!</b>
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20406/large/drunk.jpg?1361596153" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Once again-this person cannot consent to sex</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="image_container"></span><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap">
. </div>
</div>
<b>25. Carry a whistle! </b>If you are worried you might rape the person you are hanging out with, keep a whistle hanging around your neck, so they can blow it if you do.
<div class="dkimg-c">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20414/large/whistle1.jpg?1361597059" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See? It even comes in "man colors"!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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</div>
<b>26. Carry Pepper Spray! </b>Keep it in an easy to access place, like your pocket. If you start to pull down your pants to rape someone, reach into your pocket first and grab the pepper spray, and spray yourself in the face. (Note-Hornet spray, taser guns and, in extreme scenarios, yes even ACTUAL GUNS will also do the trick)
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20415/large/dudesprayed.jpg?1361597156" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That'll do the trick!<b><br /></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>
27. Avoid situations that leave you vulnerable</b>- Know what your triggers are. If you want to rape children, avoid playgrounds, coaching, teaching, and raising children. If you want to rape college girls, avoid university campuses, frat parties, and bars in college towns. If you want to rape the elderly, avoid nursing homes. Be aware of your environment at all times.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20416/large/ancient-playground-l.jpg?1361597277" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walk away. Just walk away.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<b>28. If you are unsure if your date is old enough to consent to sex, ask to see ID. </b></b></b>Generally NON-acceptable forms of ID include:<br />
<ul>
<li>Elementary, Junior, or High School Identification cards </li>
<li>Child Safety Identification cards </li>
<li>Learners Permits </li>
<li>Boys & Girls club cards</li>
<li>Build-a-Bear club member cards </li>
<li>The response "what is ID? I am eight years old."
</li>
</ul>
<b><b></b></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20347/large/card_image.jpg?1361576412" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Examples of unacceptable forms of ID</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><b><span class="image_container"></span></b></b><br />
<div class="dkimg-cap">
<b><b><br /></b></b></div>
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<b><b>
<b>29. If you are unsure if your date is actually consenting to sex, try asking them "is it OK for me to have sex with you?"</b></b></b> If the response is any of the following, stop raping them immediately:<br />
<ul>
<li>"No" </li>
<li>"I don't know"</li>
<li>"I'd prefer not to" </li>
<li>"Get the fuck off of me and stop raping me!" </li>
<li>"ummmmmm wha?" (or any other form of alcohol slurred muttering) </li>
<li>"What is sex? I am eight years old." </li>
<li>Silence-due to your date being unconscious, non-verbal, or not old enough to tal</li>
<li>Anything other than "YES" or a similar, clearly affirmative answer
</li>
</ul>
<b><b></b></b><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20418/large/disgusted-woman.jpg?1361597521" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes facial expressions and body language can be good indicators.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><b>
And finally, the BEST, most fool-proof tip of all......
<b> </b></b></b><br />
<br />
<b><b><b>30. Don't rape.
</b> </b></b><br />
<br />
<b><b>Seriously.
</b></b><br />
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<b><b><span class="image_container"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20421/large/dont-rape.jpg?1361598034" /></span></b></b></div>
<b><b>
Even if she said yes before </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if you really want to </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if he or she <i>looks </i>old enough</b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's wearing a miniskirt</b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's acting like a whore </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's drunk </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's alone </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's your wife </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she's your girlfriend </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she is transgendered </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if she is a lesbian </b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if he is a gay man</b></b><br />
<b><b>Even if he is a straight man</b></b><br />
<b><b> </b></b><br />
<b><b><i><b>EVEN IF SHE IS NOT PACKING A GUN ON HER. </b></i> </b></b><br />
<br />
<b><b>Don't. </b></b><br />
<br />
<b><b> Because:
</b></b><br />
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<b><b><span class="image_container"></span></b></b></div>
<br />
<b><b></b></b><br />
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<b><b><span class="image_container"><img alt="" src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/dk-production/images/20366/large/Untitled-16.jpg?1361581769" /></span></b></b></div>
<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-39826669585706896922012-07-20T15:15:00.000-07:002012-07-20T15:15:04.522-07:00The last words of Bill Zeller<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<img height="281" id="il_fi" src="http://madhattah.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/500x_bill_zeller.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="500" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I assume I'll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition, but I can at least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of how personal it is, but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to anyone about what happened to me, people would likely draw the wrong conclusions.<br />
<br />
My first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly. This has affected every aspect of my life. This darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me, usually triggered by a distinct situation. In kindergarten I couldn't use the bathroom and would stand petrified whenever I needed to, which started a trend of awkward and unexplained social behavior. The damage that was done to my body still prevents me from using the bathroom normally, but now it's less of a physical impediment than a daily reminder of what was done to me.<br />
<br />
This darkness followed me as I grew up. I remember spending hours playing with legos, having my world consist of me and a box of cold, plastic blocks. Just waiting for everything to end. It's the same thing I do now, but instead of legos it's surfing the web or reading or listening to a baseball game. Most of my life has been spent feeling dead inside, waiting for my body to catch up.<br />
At times growing up I would feel inconsolable rage, but I never connected this to what happened until puberty. I was able to keep the darkness at bay for a few hours at a time by doing things that required intense concentration, but it would always come back. Programming appealed to me for this reason. I was never particularly fond of computers or mathematically inclined, but the temporary peace it would provide was like a drug. But the darkness always returned and built up something like a tolerance, because programming has become less and less of a refuge.<br />
<br />
The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up. I feel like a grime is covering me. I feel like I'm trapped in a contimated body that no amount of washing will clean. Whenever I think about what happened I feel manic and itchy and can't concentrate on anything else. It manifests itself in hours of eating or staying up for days at a time or sleeping for sixteen hours straight or week long programming binges or constantly going to the gym. I'm exhausted from feeling like this every hour of every day.<br />
<br />
Three to four nights a week I have nightmares about what happened. It makes me avoid sleep and constantly tired, because sleeping with what feels like hours of nightmares is not restful. I wake up sweaty and furious. I'm reminded every morning of what was done to me and the control it has over my life.<br />
<br />
I've never been able to stop thinking about what happened to me and this hampered my social interactions. I would be angry and lost in thought and then be interrupted by someone saying "Hi" or making small talk, unable to understand why I seemed cold and distant. I walked around, viewing the outside world from a distant portal behind my eyes, unable to perform normal human niceties. I wondered what it would be like to take to other people without what happened constantly on my mind, and I wondered if other people had similar experiences that they were better able to mask.<br />
Alcohol was also something that let me escape the darkness. It would always find me later, though, and it was always angry that I managed to escape and it made me pay. Many of the irresponsible things I did were the result of the darkness. Obviously I'm responsible for every decision and action, including this one, but there are reasons why things happen the way they do.<br />
<br />
Alcohol and other drugs provided a way to ignore the realities of my situation. It was easy to spend the night drinking and forget that I had no future to look forward to. I never liked what alcohol did to me, but it was better than facing my existence honestly. I haven't touched alcohol or any other drug in over seven months (and no drugs or alcohol will be involved when I do this) and this has forced me to evaluate my life in an honest and clear way. There's no future here. The darkness will always be with me.<br />
<br />
I used to think if I solved some problem or achieved some goal, maybe he would leave. It was comforting to identify tangible issues as the source of my problems instead of something that I'll never be able to change. I thought that if I got into to a good college, or a good grad school, or lost weight, or went to the gym nearly every day for a year, or created programs that millions of people used, or spent a summer or California or New York or published papers that I was proud of, then maybe I would feel some peace and not be constantly haunted and unhappy. But nothing I did made a dent in how depressed I was on a daily basis and nothing was in any way fulfilling. I'm not sure why I ever thought that would change anything.<br />
<br />
I didn't realize how deep a hold he had on me and my life until my first relationship. I stupidly assumed that no matter how the darkness affected me personally, my romantic relationships would somehow be separated and protected. Growing up I viewed my future relationships as a possible escape from this thing that haunts me every day, but I began to realize how entangled it was with every aspect of my life and how it is never going to release me. Instead of being an escape, relationships and romantic contact with other people only intensified everything about him that I couldn't stand. I will never be able to have a relationship in which he is not the focus, affecting every aspect of my romantic interactions.<br />
<br />
Relationships always started out fine and I'd be able to ignore him for a few weeks. But as we got closer emotionally the darkness would return and every night it'd be me, her and the darkness in a black and gruesome threesome. He would surround me and penetrate me and the more we did the more intense it became. It made me hate being touched, because as long as we were separated I could view her like an outsider viewing something good and kind and untainted. Once we touched, the darkness would envelope her too and take her over and the evil inside me would surround her. I always felt like I was infecting anyone I was with.<br />
<br />
Relationships didn't work. No one I dated was the right match, and I thought that maybe if I found the right person it would overwhelm him. Part of me knew that finding the right person wouldn't help, so I became interested in girls who obviously had no interest in me. For a while I thought I was gay. I convinced myself that it wasn't the darkness at all, but rather my orientation, because this would give me control over why things didn't feel "right". The fact that the darkness affected sexual matters most intensely made this idea make some sense and I convinced myself of this for a number of years, starting in college after my first relationship ended. I told people I was gay (at Trinity, not at Princeton), even though I wasn't attracted to men and kept finding myself interested in girls. Because if being gay wasn't the answer, then what was? People thought I was avoiding my orientation, but I was actually avoiding the truth, which is that while I'm straight, I will never be content with anyone. I know now that the darkness will never leave.<br />
<br />
Last spring I met someone who was unlike anyone else I'd ever met. Someone who showed me just how well two people could get along and how much I could care about another human being. Someone I know I could be with and love for the rest of my life, if I weren't so fucked up. Amazingly, she liked me. She liked the shell of the man the darkness had left behind. But it didn't matter because I couldn't be alone with her. It was never just the two of us, it was always the three of us: her, me and the darkness. The closer we got, the more intensely I'd feel the darkness, like some evil mirror of my emotions. All the closeness we had and I loved was complemented by agony that I couldn't stand, from him. I realized that I would never be able to give her, or anyone, all of me or only me. She could never have me without the darkness and evil inside me. I could never have just her, without the darkness being a part of all of our interactions. I will never be able to be at peace or content or in a healthy relationship. I realized the futility of the romantic part of my life. If I had never met her, I would have realized this as soon as I met someone else who I meshed similarly well with. It's likely that things wouldn't have worked out with her and we would have broken up (with our relationship ending, like the majority of relationships do) even if I didn't have this problem, since we only dated for a short time. But I will face exactly the same problems with the darkness with anyone else. Despite my hopes, love and compatability is not enough. Nothing is enough. There's no way I can fix this or even push the darkness down far enough to make a relationship or any type of intimacy feasible.<br />
<br />
So I watched as things fell apart between us. I had put an explicit time limit on our relationship, since I knew it couldn't last because of the darkness and didn't want to hold her back, and this caused a variety of problems. She was put in an unnatural situation that she never should have been a part of. It must have been very hard for her, not knowing what was actually going on with me, but this is not something I've ever been able to talk about with anyone. Losing her was very hard for me as well. Not because of her (I got over our relationship relatively quickly), but because of the realization that I would never have another relationship and because it signified the last true, exclusive personal connection I could ever have. This wasn't apparent to other people, because I could never talk about the real reasons for my sadness. I was very sad in the summer and fall, but it was not because of her, it was because I will never escape the darkness with anyone. She was so loving and kind to me and gave me everything I could have asked for under the circumstances. I'll never forget how much happiness she brought me in those briefs moments when I could ignore the darkness. I had originally planned to kill myself last winter but never got around to it. (Parts of this letter were written over a year ago, other parts days before doing this.) It was wrong of me to involve myself in her life if this were a possibility and I should have just left her alone, even though we only dated for a few months and things ended a long time ago. She's just one more person in a long list of people I've hurt.<br />
I could spend pages talking about the other relationships I've had that were ruined because of my problems and my confusion related to the darkness. I've hurt so many great people because of who I am and my inability to experience what needs to be experienced. All I can say is that I tried to be honest with people about what I thought was true.<br />
<br />
I've spent my life hurting people. Today will be the last time.<br />
<br />
I've told different people a lot of things, but I've never told anyone about what happened to me, ever, for obvious reasons. It took me a while to realize that no matter how close you are to someone or how much they claim to love you, people simply cannot keep secrets. I learned this a few years ago when I thought I was gay and told people. The more harmful the secret, the juicier the gossip and the more likely you are to be betrayed. People don't care about their word or what they've promised, they just do whatever the fuck they want and justify it later. It feels incredibly lonely to realize you can never share something with someone and have it be between just the two of you. I don't blame anyone in particular, I guess it's just how people are. Even if I felt like this is something I could have shared, I have no interest in being part of a friendship or relationship where the other person views me as the damaged and contaminated person that I am. So even if I were able to trust someone, I probably would not have told them about what happened to me. At this point I simply don't care who knows.<br />
I feel an evil inside me. An evil that makes me want to end life. I need to stop this. I need to make sure I don't kill someone, which is not something that can be easily undone. I don't know if this is related to what happened to me or something different. I recognize the irony of killing myself to prevent myself from killing someone else, but this decision should indicate what I'm capable of.<br />
So I've realized I will never escape the darkness or misery associated with it and I have a responsibility to stop myself from physically harming others.<br />
<br />
I'm just a broken, miserable shell of a human being. Being molested has defined me as a person and shaped me as a human being and it has made me the monster I am and there's nothing I can do to escape it. I don't know any other existence. I don't know what life feels like where I'm apart from any of this. I actively despise the person I am. I just feel fundamentally broken, almost non-human. I feel like an animal that woke up one day in a human body, trying to make sense of a foreign world, living among creatures it doesn't understand and can't connect with.<br />
<br />
I have accepted that the darkness will never allow me to be in a relationship. I will never go to sleep with someone in my arms, feeling the comfort of their hands around me. I will never know what uncontimated intimacy is like. I will never have an exclusive bond with someone, someone who can be the recipient of all the love I have to give. I will never have children, and I wanted to be a father so badly. I think I would have made a good dad. And even if I had fought through the darkness and married and had children all while being unable to feel intimacy, I could have never done that if suicide were a possibility. I did try to minimize pain, although I know that this decision will hurt many of you. If this hurts you, I hope that you can at least forget about me quickly.<br />
<br />
There's no point in identifying who molested me, so I'm just going to leave it at that. I doubt the word of a dead guy with no evidence about something that happened over twenty years ago would have much sway.<br />
<br />
You may wonder why I didn't just talk to a professional about this. I've seen a number of doctors since I was a teenager to talk about other issues and I'm positive that another doctor would not have helped. I was never given one piece of actionable advice, ever. More than a few spent a large part of the session reading their notes to remember who I was. And I have no interest in talking about being raped as a child, both because I know it wouldn't help and because I have no confidence it would remain secret. I know the legal and practical limits of doctor/patient confidentiality, growing up in a house where we'd hear stories about the various mental illnesses of famous people, stories that were passed down through generations. All it takes is one doctor who thinks my story is interesting enough to share or a doctor who thinks it's her right or responsibility to contact the authorities and have me identify the molestor (justifying her decision by telling herself that someone else might be in danger). All it takes is a single doctor who violates my trust, just like the "friends" who I told I was gay did, and everything would be made public and I'd be forced to live in a world where people would know how fucked up I am. And yes, I realize this indicates that I have severe trust issues, but they're based on a large number of experiences with people who have shown a profound disrepect for their word and the privacy of others.<br />
<br />
People say suicide is selfish. I think it's selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won't feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it's also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day.<br />
<br />
Some people are just dealt bad hands in this life. I know many people have it worse than I do, and maybe I'm just not a strong person, but I really did try to deal with this. I've tried to deal with this every day for the last 23 years and I just can't fucking take it anymore.<br />
I often wonder what life must be like for other people. People who can feel the love from others and give it back unadulterated, people who can experience sex as an intimate and joyous experience, people who can experience the colors and happenings of this world without constant misery. I wonder who I'd be if things had been different or if I were a stronger person. It sounds pretty great.<br />
I'm prepared for death. I'm prepared for the pain and I am ready to no longer exist. Thanks to the strictness of New Jersey gun laws this will probably be much more painful than it needs to be, but what can you do. My only fear at this point is messing something up and surviving.<br />
—-<br />
<br />
I'd also like to address my family, if you can call them that. I despise everything they stand for and I truly hate them, in a non-emotional, dispassionate and what I believe is a healthy way. The world will be a better place when they're dead—one with less hatred and intolerance.<br />
<br />
If you're unfamiliar with the situation, my parents are fundamentalist Christians who kicked me out of their house and cut me off financially when I was 19 because I refused to attend seven hours of church a week.<br />
<br />
They live in a black and white reality they've constructed for themselves. They partition the world into good and evil and survive by hating everything they fear or misunderstand and calling it love. They don't understand that good and decent people exist all around us, "saved" or not, and that evil and cruel people occupy a large percentage of their church. They take advantage of people looking for hope by teaching them to practice the same hatred they practice.<br />
A random example:<br />
<br />
"I am personally convinced that if a Muslim truly believes and obeys the Koran, he will be a terrorist." - George Zeller, August 24, 2010.<br />
<br />
If you choose to follow a religion where, for example, devout Catholics who are trying to be good people are all going to Hell but child molestors go to Heaven (as long as they were "saved" at some point), that's your choice, but it's fucked up. Maybe a God who operates by those rules does exist. If so, fuck Him.<br />
<br />
Their church was always more important than the members of their family and they happily sacrificed whatever necessary in order to satisfy their contrived beliefs about who they should be.<br />
I grew up in a house where love was proxied through a God I could never believe in. A house where the love of music with any sort of a beat was literally beaten out of me. A house full of hatred and intolerance, run by two people who were experts at appearing kind and warm when others were around. Parents who tell an eight year old that his grandmother is going to Hell because she's Catholic. Parents who claim not to be racist but then talk about the horrors of miscegenation. I could list hundreds of other examples, but it's tiring.<br />
<br />
Since being kicked out, I've interacted with them in relatively normal ways. I talk to them on the phone like nothing happened. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I like pretending I have a family. Maybe I like having people I can talk to about what's been going on in my life. Whatever the reason, it's not real and it feels like a sham. I should have never allowed this reconnection to happen.<br />
I wrote the above a while ago, and I do feel like that much of the time. At other times, though, I feel less hateful. I know my parents honestly believe the crap they believe in. I know that my mom, at least, loved me very much and tried her best. One reason I put this off for so long is because I know how much pain it will cause her. She has been sad since she found out I wasn't "saved", since she believes I'm going to Hell, which is not a sadness for which I am responsible. That was never going to change, and presumably she believes the state of my physical body is much less important than the state of my soul. Still, I cannot intellectually justify this decision, knowing how much it will hurt her. Maybe my ability to take my own life, knowing how much pain it will cause, shows that I am a monster who doesn't deserve to live. All I know is that I can't deal with this pain any longer and I'm am truly sorry I couldn't wait until my family and everyone I knew died so this could be done without hurting anyone. For years I've wished that I'd be hit by a bus or die while saving a baby from drowning so my death might be more acceptable, but I was never so lucky.<br />
—-<br />
To those of you who have shown me love, thank you for putting up with all my shittiness and moodiness and arbitrariness. I was never the person I wanted to be. Maybe without the darkness I would have been a better person, maybe not. I did try to be a good person, but I realize I never got very far.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry for the pain this causes. I really do wish I had another option. I hope this letter explains why I needed to do this. If you can't understand this decision, I hope you can at least forgive me.<br />
<br />
Bill Zeller<br />
<br />
<em>Please save this letter and repost it if gets deleted. I don't want people to wonder why I did this. I disseminated it more widely than I might have otherwise because I'm worried that my family might try to restrict access to it. I don't mind if this letter is made public. In fact, I'd prefer it be made public to people being unable to read it and drawing their own conclusions.</em><br />
<br />
<em>Feel free to republish this letter, but only if it is reproduced in its entirety.</em>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-86813574346758735632012-06-03T17:09:00.001-07:002012-06-03T21:44:47.751-07:00The real problem with Scott Walker's "Crime" ad that no one is talking about<blockquote>
<strong>(Warning-This post involves child abuse resulting in deaths. Multiple. It was hard to write and may be hard to read)
</strong><br />
</blockquote>
Originally posted at <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/06/03/1097020/-The-real-problem-with-Scott-Walker-s-Crime-ad-that-no-one-is-talking-about">Daily Kos</a><br />
<br />
If you have been following the events in Wisconsin, you have probably seen this attack ad released by <a href="http://www.scottwalker.org/">Friends of Scott Walker</a><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/icGujXPWhDo" width="420"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
<em>"This 2-year-old spent six days in intensive care after being severely beaten," </em>says the Walker ad's narrator.<em> "But Tom Barrett’s police department didn’t consider it a violent crime."</em> The ad then shows crime statistics and asserts "violent crime is up" in Milwaukee.
The controversial ad-which has been criticized by the criminologist who was quoted as "<a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/06/02/1096871/-Scott-Walker-Busted-for-Misrepresentation-in-Tom-Barrett-Attack-Ad">misleading</a>"- took center stage at last weeks debate, in one of the most <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/scott-walker-debate-tom-barrett_n_1561250.html">emotionally charged moments of the night</a>:
<br />
<blockquote>
"He's running a commercial right now that shows a dead baby," Barrett said during the debate. "It shows a picture of a dead baby. This is Willie Horton stuff. That baby died."
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
"You're running a commercial attacking my integrity, claiming that I had something to do with this, and you know that's false," added Barrett, his voice rising. "You tell me whether you think I had anything to do with that."
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
Walker began to respond, saying, "No, I'm asking you --"
Before he could finish, Barrett cut him off. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
"I'll tell you right now, I had nothing to do with that," Barrett said. "You should be ashamed of that commercial, Scott Walker." </blockquote>
Like many who watched the debate, I was confused by Tom Barret's statement. The ad states that the child spent 2 weeks in the ICU, but doesn't mention a death. I hoped that he had misspoken. Sadly, he did not.
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<br />
According to the report by the Journal Sentinel cited by the ad, the child they are referring to is 2 year old <a href="http://www.justice4caylee.org/t11967-karmari-j-curtis-2-yo-milwaukee-wi">Karmari Curtis</a>
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<blockquote>
MILWAUKEE -- An arrest has been made in the death of a 2-year-old boy brought to the hospital on Saturday April 2nd. The man in custody is the mother's boyfriend, and police said it's not the first time the suspect is accused of abusing the child.
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<blockquote>
Officers went to an apartment building near 22nd Street and Wisconsin Avenue on Saturday, after the 26-year-old man living there took his girlfriend's 2-year-old son to the hospital.Police said the toddler was pronounced dead at 6:27 p.m. The boyfriend was arrested shortly after.
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
Monday, no one was at the boyfriend's apartment, where police said the abuse happened, but a neighbor told 12 News there was nothing suspicious Saturday night. "I didn't hear anything," said Rosie Ballard, neighbor. "I was in bed when the police came."
Police said it was the same victim, and Benson ruptured the toddler's liver at the same apartment while the child was in his care Oct. 25. 12 News also obtained the no-contact order filed against Benson. His trial was set for this May. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Neighbors said the toddler and his mother did not live at the apartment but would visit frequently. Neighbors didn't see anything unusual when they came this weekend. "Friday night, I maybe heard a little noise, but when I hear bumping or knocking something I pay no attention to it because sometimes it happens," said Ballard. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Police have not said what the child's injuries are as officers continue to investigate, and the department has put a non-disclosure on the medical examiner's report. An autopsy was to be performed today. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
The Department of Children and Families released a statement from Arlene Happach, the director of the Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare. It reads, "This child's death is a tragedy, and our deepest sympathy is with his family and others who loved him. We are investigating the role of the bureau in this case."</blockquote>
So why did the Walker campaign leave out the fact that Karmari was murdered? Granted, it could have been to avoid admitting that they were ghoulish enough to use a deceased child as a political prop-but using a battered one isn't really that much better. And such a horrific murder would certainly play right in to the narrative of a crime-ridden Milwaukee under Tom Barrett.<br />
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But perhaps there is another reason why Scott Walkers campaign didn't mention it-Perhaps because it would lead to the fact that, at the time of Karmari's death, he was known to the <a href="http://dcf.wisconsin.gov/bmcw/">Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare (BMCW)</a>-a state-run agency that Scott Walker was ultimately responsible for overseeing. And perhaps more importantly, the fact that the BMCW was one of the first government agencies subjected to the privatization treatment that Scott Walker is now trying to inflict on the rest of Wisconsin's governmental functions, with disastrous consequences.
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<a name='more'></a><h2>
"Laboratories of Innovation"</h2>
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In the 1990's, the nation embarked on a bold new experiment in the privatization of social services. At the tip of the spear was the Republican Governor of Wisconsin, Tommy Thompson. In 1996, President Bill Clinton signed the the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_Responsibility_and_Work_Opportunity_Act">Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act</a>, or PRWORA, fulfilling his campaign promise to "end welfare as we know it". PRWORA replaced the federal Aid to Dependent Children (AFDC) program with block-grants to the states. The states, as Clinton put it, could become "laboratories for innovation"-experimenting with the lives of poor women and their children.
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Thompson, along with Scott Walker and his republican-led state legislature, established the Wisconsin Works program, or W-2, under which welfare recipients had to participate in mandatory job-training workshops or perform community service in order to get their checks. In what was at the time an unprecedented step, Thompson and his Republican controlled legislature drafted legislation decided to delegate oversight of the W-2 program to private contractors.
The results of this, depending on who you ask, were either a miracle or a disaster. In getting people off of welfare, they were indeed remarkably successful. Wisconsin caseloads plummeted by 93 percent, and W-2 was hailed the most successful welfare program in the country-a storyline that the media at the time was more than happy to repeat without question.
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In reality though, the privatization effort was a disaster. The contracted agencies rode the gravy train of corporate welfare, wasting tens of millions of dollars in taxpayer money on marketing gimmicks, personal largesse, and political lobbying-All the while spending precious few resources on their vulnerable clients. Nevertheless, Thomspon and company decided to parlay the "success" of privatization into other government agencies. And in 1998, they got the chance to try it out on the high-stakes world of child protection.
<br />
<h2>
Failure to Protect</h2>
<hr />
In the 1990's, a group of child rights advocates filed a lawsuit against Milwaukee County and the State of Wisconsin for violating the rights of children in the foster care system. As part of the settlement, the child advocacy groups, the state, and the county agreed to have a private audit done. The audits revealed that the main issue was quite simple-Milwaukee County Child Welfare was not being adequately funded by the state.
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<br />
The state denied this finding and stated that Milwaukee was getting enough money, but that it was being mismanaged. So in 1998, Tommy Thompson and his Republican controlled state legislature (notable members of which included Scott Walker and Alberta Darling) wrote a line in the budget that the State would take over the child welfare system in any county with a population of over 500,000. There was only one county that fit this description-Milwaukee.
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<br />
Thus, the state-controlled <a href="http://dcf.wisconsin.gov/bmcw/">Bureau of Milwaukee Child Welfare</a> was formed. It had a starting budget that was more than $30 million dollars higher than what they allotted Milwaukee County when it ran the system. Over the course of the next three and a half years, Milwaukee County was slowly, but surely, forced out of the system as it was almost entirely privatized. And in the meantime, the children under their watch died at alarming rates.
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While nationally and across Wisconsin, the rates of child maltreatment fell sharply in the 2000's, Milwaukee county remained a glaring exception. Dozens of children-including over 20 who were known to the BMCW at the time of their deaths-were killed by their caregivers. A few of these cases were profiled in a heartbreaking report by the <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/watchdog/watchdogreports/63459292.html">Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:</a>
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<blockquote>
• At least 11 children, such as 7-month-old Layunnia Lewis, who died even though their families had been in contact with social workers more than once during the child's life, often spanning months. Layunnia died due to neglect in November 2006.
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<blockquote>
• Three children who died as a result of abuse or neglect in foster homes, relatives' homes or institutions where they were supposed to be protected. One was Angellika Arndt, a 7-year-old who suffocated in 2006 when workers at a day treatment center held her face down for an hour.
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• Two children who died even though their parents were reported to the bureau for suspected abuse or neglect. One of them was Rubi Ochoa-Cervantes, who was reported to the bureau for an unexplained skull fracture a month before her father beat her to death in 2005. She was just 2 months old.
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• Four babies who were overlooked by the child welfare system even though their older siblings previously had died or suffered abuse or neglect. Among them was Lamour Caesar-Burnley, who starved to death even as a criminal child neglect charge was pending against his mother.
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The deaths were so numerous, and so tragically unnecessary, that eventually the state legislature had no choice but to conduct another <a href="http://legis.wisconsin.gov/lab/reports/06-2Full.pdf">audit of the program</a> in 2005. The results were disturbing. The audit found private agencies spending thousands of dollars on gifts for employees, as well as delays in services to children in foster care and to their families, glacial child abuse investigations and a staggering level of caseworker turnover.
Badger state blogger Chris Liebenthal has written about this topic extensively on his excellent blog <a href="http://cognidissidence.blogspot.com/">Cognitive Dissidence</a>. As a former Milwaukee County Child Welfare Worker himself, he offers a unique perspective of what these changes <a href="http://cognidissidence.blogspot.com/2009/01/another-death-due-to-dysfunctional.html">looked like in practice</a>:
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<blockquote>
When I worked for Milwaukee County as a child welfare worker, the entire program was done by the County. Investigations, on-going case management, adoption studies, and foster home licensing was all done by the County. Because it was all done by one agency, there was a high level of communication going on. If the foster home licensing worker came to check to make sure that the home was still following guidelines and requirements, and found something wrong, the case manager was notified, and appropriate action was taken, including removing the children from harm's way. Likewise, if the case manager saw problems, and had to remove the kids, the licensing worker was notified immediately, and necessary actions were taken to either correct the problem or to revoke their license.
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Now, under the BMCW, all of these duties can be done by various different agencies. Furthermore, the way the BMCW has been structured, it actually hinders communication between these agencies and between the workers. The right hand literally doesn't know what the left one is doing.
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Another problem with the system is how they decide to track and organize cases. Under the old system, the cases were organized by the family, with the mother being the main case. She would then be assigned a number for administrative purposes. All of her children were given the same number with an alphabetical suffix to reflect the order of their birth. For example, if a case was opened for a mother, it could receive a number like 123456. If said mother had multiple children, they would have case numbers 123456A, 123456B, 123456C and so on.
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<blockquote>
Under the Bureau, it goes by the child. The computer system was supposed to keep track of the names via a data base, and put members of the family in the same caseload, but the programming did not work. There were many times when a single family could have numerous case numbers and different workers scattered throughout the system, with the workers not even knowing that the other cases existed.
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<blockquote>
Instead of a system that has all of its different functions working together for a common cause, the design of the system, including breaking it into parts for privatization purposes, as caused an atmosphere of isolation and competition. Instead of working together to protect children, you have several agencies working against each other, in hopes to get a bigger part of the pie. The result is more needless and senseless deaths of the most vulnerable of our community.</blockquote>
Tragically, it took yet another needless and senseless death before any action was taken.
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<h2>
Christopher Thomas</h2>
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<br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/christopher_thomas.jpg" /></a>
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<br />
In 2008, 13-month-old Christopher Thomas was placed by BMCW into the care of his Aunt, along with his 2 year old sister. Oversight for Christopher and his sister's placement was handled by the private contracting firm La Causa.
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<br />
In less than two months <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/34424614.html">Christopher was dead, and his sister was hospitalized in critical condition.</a>
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<br />
By all accounts, Crystal Keith began mistreating both children from the moment they came into her care. The abuse they endured was described by seasoned investigators as the worst they had ever seen. Yet during the months the children were abused, La Causa caseworkers visited the home five times, and missed seemingly obvious evidence of their maltreatment. Christopher died within 11 days of their last visit.
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<br />
The case of Christopher Thomas provoked outrage and disbelief, and ultimately led to monumental changes at the BMCW.
That was the claim, anyways.
In reality, the changes were mostly window dressing. The Director of BMCW at the time of Christopher Thomas' death resigned from her position-and was subsequently hired into a similar position in the State of Washington. La Causa opted to cancel its 11 million dollar contract, and was replaced by another private contractor called Integrated Family Services. Integrated Family Services then re-hired virtually the entire La Causa staff, including the supervisor who was in charge of the Christopher Thomas case.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/117866554.html">The most recent progress report</a>, released last month showed that the year 2010 saw some promising improvements in outcomes, but the issues of staff turnover and bureaucratic inefficiencies that have plagued BMCW from the beginning still remain. And with the Walker Budget Repair Bill cutting so deeply into the very anti-poverty programs that have been shown to protect against child maltreatment, it remains to be seen if the agency is yet strong enough to deal with the fallout from a broken safety net.
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<h2>
Karmari Curtis</h2>
<hr />
<br />
And that leads us to 2011, and the tragic case of Karmari Curtis. After he was hospitalized in October 2010, his case was referred to the BMCW. Little is known about what services, if any, he received from them. Their last public statement on the matter was made at the time of his death, when director Arlene Happach said that they would be investigating their role in the matter. And given the highly classified nature of these investigations, we will probably never know the full truth about what happened.
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<br />
There is one thing that is not in dispute, however. While Scott Walker is quick to point fingers at Tom Barrett for the rising crime rates in Milwaukee, when it comes to cases of child maltreatment like that which took the life of little Karmari, he never had any jurisdiction over it in the first place. Child abuse cases within Milwaukee homes are handled by the BMCW, which means it was ultimately the responsibility of the state to protect him from further harm. And at the time of his death, the chief executive of the state was none other than Scott Walker himself.
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<br />
Above all else, there is one thing we should not lose sight of. Karmari Curtis was a human being-not a statistic. He had a family and other people in his life who loved him, who now have to have his death thrown in their face every time Friends of Walker gives this ad airtime. They do not deserve that.
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<br />
And this little man...<br />
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/26051xx.jpg" /></a>
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did not deserve to have his life end in such a horrific way, nor does he deserve to have his precious memory cheapened and exploited by the likes of Scott Walker.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-48971060560842172182012-05-21T13:44:00.002-07:002012-05-21T13:56:06.842-07:00George Tierny of Greenville South Carolina-Golf Caddy, Insufferable Woman-hating Fuckwit, help make him famous!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
From normboyd40 at <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/05/21/1093549/-A-Man-Seeking-Anonymity-Let-s-Make-Him-Famous">Daily Kos</a></div>
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<blockquote>
A bullying,ignorant misogynist name George Tierney, a golf caddy living in Greenville, South Carolina, has been reduced to begging and threatening to get removed from Google. It seems Mr. Tierney, who calls himself a former golf professional, (Player? Caddy? pro-shop clerk?) decided to do the Limbaugh by attacking Sandra Fluke <em>(fixed spelling) </em>as a "dick sucker" and a "cunt" on his Twitter page. Now he finds that the whole damn world can read what he wrote and he is threatening legal action to get everything covered up. I suppose it's getting real hard to get a date there in Greenville, or maybe his mommy read the page and was displeased. In any event, this diary has no purpose but to call attention to the T-Blogg story and make Mr. Tierney famous. Who knows? Maybe he'll sue Daily Kos too.<br />
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<a href="http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/05/20/internet-man-does-not-want-to-be-on-the-google-anymore/?fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl">http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2012/05/20/internet-man-does-not-want-to-be-on-the-google-anymore/?fwcc=1&fwcl=1&fwl</a><br />
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Here are the Tweets in question:<br />
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More than happy to do my part! Words have consequences, jackass.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnJWQ0JmdAJcfRaBpTBTrdVX5z0SCwtsJZ_nAXcXF3q7_H-_tNccYiGhK7-BBnU-pgLBl83v-H2RapmMZLMhpiHMlwh0KovzFjGyADGkIR8O6KBdMfFpMp0IhgZ3o39OOw7uRICvfHic/s1600/jesus_says-tshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVnJWQ0JmdAJcfRaBpTBTrdVX5z0SCwtsJZ_nAXcXF3q7_H-_tNccYiGhK7-BBnU-pgLBl83v-H2RapmMZLMhpiHMlwh0KovzFjGyADGkIR8O6KBdMfFpMp0IhgZ3o39OOw7uRICvfHic/s320/jesus_says-tshirt.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-38129336124213788222012-05-13T19:00:00.001-07:002012-05-13T21:09:11.049-07:00Mitt Romney's "Mothers Day" Ad reveals the height of republican hypocrisyMothers Day-a time when we all stop to honor the women in our lives for all of the hard work and sacrifices they make raising our future generations.
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Or, if you are Mitt Romney, a perfect opportunity to exploit your wife's health problems and make her into a mommy martyr to pander for donations:
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mV6Dn8qMzig" width="560"></iframe>
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<blockquote>
Ann Romney raised 5 boys. She successfully battled breast cancer and multiple sclerosis. But what does White House insider Hilary Rosen say about Ann Romney? "Guess what, his wife has actually never worked a day in her life." And Bill Maher, who gave $1 million supporting Obama, attacks: "Ann Romney has never gotten her ass out of the house."
Happy Mother's Day from Barack Obama's Team!</blockquote>
Interesting attack, considering the source. More below the fold.<br />
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<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
So that is what two people on our side said about Ann Romney. Unfortunate comments, no doubt. I don't endorse them. But before we start stirring up the poutrage, let's have a look at what Mitt Romney and friends have said about mothers like me (unwed, single, using public assistance) over the years:
•<a href="http://womensenews.org/story/commentary/040611/time-bury-reagans-legacy-women">Ronald Reagan</a>:
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<blockquote>
Reagan...publicly insulted single mothers raising children with the help of federal assistance by calling them "welfare queens," thus setting the stage for the dramatic retrenchment of aid to families headed by women. At the same time, Reagan refused to raise the minimum wage and instilled in the national psyche a belief that higher wages for the lowest level workers cost jobs (snip)
Then, as now, the largest group of minimum wage workers was adult women. Translation: more women and their children in poverty, more women holding two low-paying jobs to make ends meet and less food on the table, period. Well, all except catsup, which Reagan tried to have declared a vegetable as he cut school lunch programs.</blockquote>
<em>Side note-Reagans dreams of liquid tomato based products as a food group came true this past year when the GOP-controlled congress <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/nov/18/pizza-vegetable-congress-says-so">declared pizza a vegetable</a>)</em><br />
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•<strong>Newt Gingrich</strong>-<a href="http://www.salon.com/2011/12/02/a_look_back_newts_most_outlandish_positions/">Once proposed</a> that states end aid to poor single mothers and their children be sent to orphanages that would be built with the saved money.
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•<strong>Michelle Bachmann</strong>-Proposed a bill that would punish Single Mothers by giving tax breaks for “Family Formation”. Also <a href="http://thepoliticalcarnival.net/2011/07/08/michele-bachmann-rick-santorum-sign-pledge-that-says-black-children-better-off-born-into-slavery/"> Signed a pledge </a> that suggested children born under slavery were better off than children living in single parent households (note-so did Rick Santorum)
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•<strong>Rick Santorum</strong> -Stated that single mothers are <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/03/santorum-single-mothers-are-breeding-more-criminals">"breeding criminals, "destroying the fabric of society, and "need a kick in the butt"</a><br />
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•<strong>Senator Jim Demint-</strong>Said gay people AND single mothers <a href="http://crooksandliars.com/john-amato/gopers-turn-jim-demints-hateful-rant-ag">should not be allowed to become teachers</a>.
•<br />
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<strong>Ann Coulter</strong> In a July 2011 column where she hailed Casey Anthony "single mother of the year", stated that <a href="http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2011-07-06.html"> "not giving up an illegitimate child for adoption ought to be considered child abuse."</a>
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•<strong>Wisconsin GOP legislators Senator Glenn Grothman and Representative Don Pridemore</strong> <a href="http://www.thenation.com/blog/167037/wisconsin-gop-legislators-go-after-single-mothers">proposed a bill </a> that would direct the state to prepare educational materials that blame “nonmarital parenthood” for child abuse and neglect. Pridemore took it a step further and said that <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/wisconsin-lawmaker-says-women-stay-abusive-marriages-232700220.html">women should stay in abusive marriages.</a> For the kids!
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<br />
And as for Mittens himself? While he has been quick to rush to the defense of Ann, and has great applause lines like "All mothers are working mothers", he's made it clear that only certain kinds of mothers deserve his respect. In fact he recently told Chris Hayes that they should be required to have jobs so that they can have “<a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2012/04/15/mitt-romney-says-dignity-of-work-only-available-to-women-in-the-paid-workforce/">the dignity of work</a>”. Because when Ann Romney stays home with her kids, it’s the hardest job on the planet. When a single mother on welfare does it, it’s lazy and undignified. <br />
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And then, of course, there is the time he allegedly pressured a single mother to give her baby up for adoption, under the threat of excommunication from the church (<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/bishop-romney-pressured-single-mother-to-give-up-b">source</a>)
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<blockquote>
Peggie Hayes had converted to Mormonism as a teenage along with her family, and told the book’s authors, Boston Globe reporters Michael Kranish and Scott Helman, that for a long time she found comfort in the faith’s teachings. After returning to the congregation as a 23-year-old divorced single mother, she soon got pregnant with a second child. Knowing she was in need of financial assistance, the Romneys arranged for her to do odd jobs for members of the congregation.
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<blockquote>
“Mitt was really good to us,” Hayes told the authors. “He did a lot for us.”
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But while Hayes considered Romney a friend, he was also her bishop—which meant it was his job to pass along sometimes-harsh church counsel. The tension between the two relationships came to the forefront one day when he came over to her apartment, and encouraged her to turn her son over to the church’s adoption agency when he was born. (The church’s position is that if a happy marriage between parents of a newborn seems unlikely, adoption is preferable to single parenting.)
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<blockquote>
Hayes was offended by the suggestion, and told Romney she would never give up her son. But, according to Hayes, Romney told her, “Well, this is what the church wants you to do, and if you don’t, then you could be excommunicated for failing to follow the leadership of the church.”
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Though she was defiant, the authors write, “In that moment, she also felt intimidated. Here was Romney, who held great power as her church leader and was the head of a wealthy, prominent Belmont family, sitting in her gritty apartment making grave demands.”</blockquote>
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<blockquote>
Hayes acknowledged the seriousness of excommunication: “This is not playing around. This is not like, ‘You don’t get to take Communion.’ This is like ‘You will not be saved. You will enver see the face of God.’”
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Look, I will be the first to admit, I have a very hard time relating to a woman who spends more money on a <a href="http://jezebel.com/5907069/ann-romneys-weird-bird-shirt-cost-990">hideous parrot shirt</a> than I make in an entire month, who complains about the hardships of <a href="http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2012/04/ann-and-mitt-college-years.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter"> living off of her husbands stock portfolio</a>, and says things like <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/24/1086009/-Ann-Romney-Sticks-Her-Silver-Foot-In-Her-Mouth-Again">"I love the fact that there are women out there who don’t have a choice and they must go to work and they still have to raise the kids."</a> But you know what? I would be more than happy to lay off of Ann Romney. I would love to see the day arrive where we embrace ALL kinds of mothers-single moms, working moms, welfare moms, trust fund moms-whatever floats your boat. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Unfortunately the GOP hasn't gotten that memo though, and probably never will.
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<br />
Mitt, a word of advice. This is not going to work, because women aren't as stupid as you seem to think. You can trot your wife out to try and make you look good all you want, it isn't worth a hill of beans when you do things like <a href="http://www.fordoconnell.com/romney_scores_victory_after_hilary_rosen_quip_but_do_his_proposed_policies_help_stay_at_home_moms">endorse the Paul Ryan budget</a>, which slash funding to the very programs that help families and mothers - especially single mothers - who aren't married to multi-millionares survive. If you want to close that <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/10/1082201/-Yup-That-gender-gap-is-real-19-20-points-real?detail=hide">20 point gender gap </a> you need to start supporting policies that support women. But we all know that isn't going to happen.
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<br />
In the meantime, if you want people to stop criticizing the mother of your children, you can start by laying off the mother of mine.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-49281223727950308382012-05-11T05:14:00.001-07:002012-05-12T20:35:49.363-07:00Books That Changed My Life-"Trauma & Recovery" by Judith Herman, M.D.<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img align="left" alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/tr.png" width="300" /></a>
(Originally posted on <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/05/11/1090657/-Books-That-Changed-My-Life-Trauma-Recovery-by-Judith-Herman-M-D-">Daily Kos</a>)<br />
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I will open this with both a warning, and a bit of an apology-As the title of the book suggests, Judith Herman writes about Trauma. I am a survivor of sexual abuse. The importance of this book simply cannot be discussed without also touching upon some of my experiences with that. I realize this can be an uncomfortable topic, and is not really typical for this series-however, when I was approached about doing an installment for this I couldn’t think of any book that has changed my life more than this one.
I also think this book (and hopefully-my review of it too!) is an important read both for trauma survivors and non-survivors alike. For survivors, there are simply no words to explain how much this book helps-it's truly a life-changing read. And non-survivors will come away with a richer understanding and greater empathy for those who have lived through experiences that seem completely foreign and unimaginable. This book forges a robust connection between public and private lives, and does it in a way that can be understood even by those with no background in trauma psychology. Indeed, this is what I found most powerful about Herman's book-it made me feel like I could reconnect with the outside world again.
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<h2>
Introduction</h2>
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I could tell from the outset that this was not your typical “Healing from Trauma” book. In her introduction, Herman makes it clear that this book will deal with both the individual experience of Interpersonal trauma AND the social forces behind it.
When I read she was going to be doing all of this AND doing it from a feminist perspective-something she admits will be "controversial"- I was hooked (and thought "I'm in LOVE with this woman!")
In the introduction, Herman also gives us her take on why people try to shun or silence trauma survivors:
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<blockquote>
"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering."</blockquote>
What made this book so powerful for me was that it went beyond case histories, activities, and healing on an individual level. We are social beings, and our existence does not occur in a vacuum-we must interact daily with the outside world. The way our culture regards trauma and its victims is therefore vital to those who are trying to reintegrate into society after profound psychological distress. Dr. Herman explains our modern Western cultural attitudes toward psychological trauma, gives a fascinating and pertinent history of how those attitudes have evolved throughout history, and how they affect individual survivors in their recovery.
Dr. Herman sets forth most of this broader cultural history in Part 1, Chapter 1, "A Forgotten History." I am actually doing a 5 part diary series based on this section alone. She begins with the female hysteria patients of 19th Century Europe (which I diaried about <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/20/1085034/-TREE-Climbers-The-Forgotten-History-of-Trauma-Augustine-in-The-Age-of-Hysteria-Part-1-">here</a>) and ends up with the Vietnam veterans' movement to demand treatment for combat stress reactions. In 1980 the American Psychiatric Association included "post-traumatic stress disorder" in its official diagnostic manual. This led to an understanding that rape, sexual abuse and domestic survivors suffered from a very similar type of distress, and eventually to the acceptance of P.T.S.D. as a diagnosis for them as well.
To paraphrase another review, by exploring the dynamics of periodic amnesia, repression and denial, Dr. Herman does a great service to those who must heal and re-enter a culture which can sometimes be as brutal as those who abuse them.
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<h2>
Chapter 2-Terror</h2>
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Dr. Herman first tackles the subject of terror itself. What does it mean to be terrorized?
She first describes what happens when a person is thrust into a traumatic experience-the “fight or flight” mechanism kicks in, causing a state of hyperarousal. This response is almost universal- and everyone experiences at some point in their lives. If you have ever been in a car accident, or been spooked by something, or even watched a scary movie you recognize that your body responds to that feeling of fear- you feel your heart pounding, you may start to sweat and salivate, and your muscles become tense. You get what is commonly described as an “adrenaline rush”-your entire existence becomes focused around the traumatic incident.Your autonomic nervous system primes the body to respond when it perceives a life or death situation-it is truly remarkable how intricate this process is and how every part of the body is involved-from the tiniest capillaries to the brain itself.
But in a situation where the trauma is prolonged and the victim perceives they have no way to escape-when someone is held captive, or if they are a child being terrorized by an adult- this ordinarily seamless response becomes overwhelmed and disorganized. And long after the person is removed and returned to a safe environment, the response persists-altering the way the body and mind work in profound and often devastating ways.
Dr. Herman goes on to outline the 3 cardinal signs of Post Traumatic Stress Reactions-Hyperarousal, Intrusion, and Constriction. I will briefly describe each of them:
<b>Hyperarousal</b>
Hyperarousal is often the first symptom-it is a continuation of the fight/flight response. The victim is in a constant state of alert-unable to sleep, startled easily, and their senses are heightened. After the acute stage immediately following the traumatic event, they may slip into a more generalized anxiety, with certain “triggers” that cause them to re-experience the more acute symptoms.
<b>Intrusion</b>
Something that Freud described as “Idee Fixe”. More commonly, it is referred to as a “flashback”. The victim is unable to return to normal life-they find themselves continuously reliving the event. The memories of the event are often so vivid that they feel as if they are actually happening. The reason for this, as Dr. Herman explains, is because the "Fight or Flight" response causes the release of adreniline and other stress hormones-and it has been scientifically proven that when these hormones are circulating, the memories become deeply imprinted on the brain.
Intrusion also takes place within dreams-traumatic nightmares are often very visceral and feel like actually reliving the event itself. Since dreams are reprocessed memories, traumatic dreams are unusual for the same reason that traumatic memories are unusual-the biochemical reactions that occur during trauma leave them deeply engraved in the mind.
Finally, the survivor may constantly and compulsively reenact their traumatic experience. This is usually subconscious. Children who have been sexually abused, for example, often recreate scenes of their abuse through play. Adults may find themselves repeatedly exposing themselves to versions of the experience. For myself, I realized that my pattern of reckless behavior-what I describe as my game of Russian Roulette with my life-was a manifestation of this. It is believed that these are attempts to recreate the traumatic memory, and change the outcome.
<b>Constriction</b>
Constriction often first occurs during the traumatic even itself. Victims often describe this as "numbing out". As Herman explains:
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<blockquote>
Sometimes situations of inescapable danger may evoke not only terror and rage but also, paradoxically, a state of detached calm, in which terror, rage, and pain dissolve. Events continue to register in awareness, but it is as though these events have been disconnected from their ordinary meanings. Perceptions may be numbed or distorted, with partial anesthesia or the loss of particular sensations. Time sense may be altered, often with a sense of slow motion,and the experience may lose its quality of ordinary reality. The person may feel as though the event is not happening to her, as though she is observing from outside her body, or as though the whole experience is a bad dream from which she will shortly awaken.
</blockquote>
Reading this was profound for me-because so much of my own abuse felt almost surreal-so much so that I thought I might have imagined it. During most of it, I remember being on the ceiling, looking down at myself. I thought this was crazy-until I read an account from a child sexual abuse survivor describing her own abuse in the <i>exact same way.
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Another sign of this detachment is emotional-people who have been traumatized often have a dull, flat affect. Their facial expression is described as "The thousand mile stare". My friend and fellow sexual abuse survivor Roxine has shared this picture of herself as a child- you can see the vacant expression in her eyes:<br />
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Victims who are not able to dissociate this way on their own often turn to drugs our alcohol to numb themselves. Dr. Herman cites a shocking study on Vietnam Veterans with PTSD-85% of them reported problems with drugs or alcohol after they returned home. Only 7% had been drinkers or drug users before experiencing combat.
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<h2>
Disconnection</h2>
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In the third chapter Dr. Herman explains the impact that trauma has on the victims everyday life-and how it can result in not just broken minds and injured bodies, but in shattered relationships to those closest to them, the community, and the outside world:
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In situations of terror, people spontaneously seek their first source of comfort and protection. Wounded soldiers and raped women cry for their mothers, or for God. When this cry is not answered, the sense of basic trust is shattered. Traumatized people feel utterly abandoned, utterly alone, cast out of the human and divine systems of care and protection that sustain life. Thereafter, a sense of alienation, of disconnection, pervades every relationship, from the most intimate familial bonds to the most abstract affiliations of community and religion. When trust is lost, traumatized people feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living.</blockquote>
This helped me a great deal-to explain my feelings of isolation. I have always been a very closed off person-which might surprise people, given how personal a lot of my writing is. In many ways, Daily Kos has provided me a safe outlet-where I was first protected behind the anonymity of a computer screen and pseudonym-to reintegrate myself with the wider world. Reading "Trauma & Recovery" helped me to realize that my tendency towards self-isolation is not due to any character defect-it is a byproduct of shattered trust and ideals. And more importantly, it is something that can be repaired.
Herman also explains how trauma can have a devastating impact on the most important relationship of all-the relationship with oneself:
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<blockquote>
Traumatic events violate the autonomy of the person at the level of basic bodily integrity. The body is invaded,injured, defiled. Control over bodily functions is often lost; in the folklore of combat and rape, this loss of control is often recounted as the most humiliating aspect of the trauma.Furthermore, at the moment of trauma, almost by definition, the individual’s point of view counts for nothing. In rape, for example, the purpose of the attack is precisely to demonstrate contempt for the victim’s autonomy and dignity.<i><b> The traumatic event thus destroys the belief that one can be oneself in relation to others</b></i></blockquote>
The chapter also deals with the often contradictory nature of survivors relationships-both with others, and the outside world. Because of difficulties modulating intense anger, survivors of trauma often swing between uncontrolled rage and an intolerance of aggression in any form. This also plays out with intimacy-survivors will desperately seek out close relationships, and then withdraw from them completely.This has marked all of my relationships-both platonic and romantic. I tend to form intense bonds with people-but as soon as I start to feel vulnerable, I sabatoge them. I found myself both terrified of being with people, and terrified of being alone.
Survivors of trauma lose their sense of connection-to themselves, to their communities, and to the people around them. They lose their faith, and their entire belief system is often shattered.
Herman also explains how social status plays a role in the level of disconnection a trauma survivor feels with the outside world. While trauma can have a devastating impact on anyone, the impact is especially brutal when the victim is already disempowered and devalued by society.
At the conclusion of this chapter, Dr. Herman makes what I consider one of the most profound points in her entire work here:
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<blockquote>
Combat and rape, the public and private forms of organized social violence, are primarily experiences of adolescence and early adult life. The United States Army enlists young men at seventeen; the average age of the Vietnam combat soldier was nineteen.In many other countries boys are conscripted for military service while barely in their teens. Similarly, the period of highest risk for rape is in late adolescence. Half of all victims are aged twenty or younger at the time they are raped; three-quarters are between the ages of thirteen and twenty-six. The period of greatest psychological vulnerability is also in reality the period of greatest traumatic exposure, for both young men and young women. <i><b>Rape and combat might thus be considered complementary social rites of initiation into the coercive violence at the foundation of adult society. They are the paradigmatic forms of trauma for women and men respectively.</b></i></blockquote>
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<h2>
Child Abuse</h2>
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In this chapter, Herman tackles the devastating impact of child abuse. While it may seem strange to have a chapter devoted to singling out one form of trauma over the other-she quickly makes it apparent that the experience of a traumatized child is very different than that of an adult:
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<blockquote>
Repeated trauma in adult life erodes the structure of the personality already formed, but repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses</blockquote>
She goes on to describe the ways that children learn to survive in this perilous environment. They become innately in tune with their abuser-learning to recognize subtle changes in facial expressions, body language and demeanor that indicate danger-signals of intoxication, sexual arousal, dissociation and anger that indicate some form of abuse is about to occur. To avoid being abused, they will either avoid or try to placate their abuser.
Social isolation is common for these children-a condition that is strictly enforced by their abuser in the interest of maintaining both secrecy and control. This social isolation prevents the child from forming relationships with others who are in a position to help her.
<b>Doublethink</b>
Throughout all of this, the child is still a child and going through the process of development. This requires the formation of primary attachment. When the abuser is the child's parent or caregiver, they are faced with a profound developmental obstacles:
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She must find a way to form primary attachments to caretakers who are either dangerous or, from her perspective, negligent. She must find a way to develop a sense of basic trust and safety with caretakers who are untrustworthy and unsafe. She must develop a sense of self in relation to others who are helpless, uncaring, or cruel.She must develop a capacity for bodily self-regulation in an environment in which her body is at the disposal of others’ needs, as well as a capacity for self-soothing in an environment without solace. She must develop the capacity for initiative in an environment which demands that she bring her will into complete conformity with that of her abuser. And ultimately, she must develop a capacity for intimacy out of an environment where all intimate relationships are corrupt, and an identity out of an environment which defines her as a whore and a slave</blockquote>
The child has to find some way to explain their parents behavior-whether malice or indifference. This is the only way that they are able to preserve the attachment to their parents or caretakers. To do this, the child often develops a wide array of defense mechanisms, which help him or her deny the abuse is actually happening. Powerless to alter her environment or the unbearable reality, the child alters it in her mind. This process of altering consciousness is clinically known as dissociation, but is also referred to as "double consciousness" or "doublethink"
<b>A Double Self</b>
Abuse, especially sexual abuse, fills a child with a sense of "inner badness". In order to preserve her primary attachments to her parents, the child will often form a separate, stigmatized identity to take the evil of the abuser into herself.
Although I was not abused by my parents, I did form a double identity-I became a boy named Chris. You can see "Chris" in this childhood photo:
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This was no mere tomboy stage-those who knew me at that time will tell you that I fully became "Chris"-insisting on being called by that name, even going as far as stuffing the front of my underwear. I needed to become "Chris" so that I could have an identity that was not taking part in this forbidden and shameful activity.
The abused child's "bad" inner self is often disguised by their outward appearance-abused children often persistently try to be <i>good</i>. They become obedient, perfectionist, and over-acheivers. At the same time, they repel all compliments about their achievements and virtues-seeing their "performing self" as inauthentic and fake. Positive recognition only serves to make the child feel even more isolated-reaffirming their need to keep their "real" self hidden-for if anyone were to truly know them (the "bad" self) they would be shunned and despised.
Some children are able to salvage a more positive identity for themselves, but it often involves extreme self-sacrifice. As Herman explains:
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<blockquote>
They embrace the identity of the saint chosen for martyrdom as a way of preserving a sense of value. Eleanore Hill, an incest survivor,describes her stereotypical role as the virgin chosen for sacrifice, a role that gave her an identity and a feeling of specialness: “In the family myth I am the one to play the ‘beauty and the sympathetic one.’ The one who had to hold [my father] together. In primitive tribes, young virgins are sacrificed to angry male gods. In families it is the same.</blockquote>
In my diary "<a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/27/1078288/-Thank-You-Pat-Robertson-">Thank You Pat Robertson</a>" I described how I became fixated on Saints in my childhood-in particular Saint Maria Goretti. Throughout my life, I have continued to engage in acts of extreme self-sacrifice. This has become my most persistent maladaptive trait-I believe because of my unresolved feelings of guilt over not being able to save my best friend. Reading about this helped me to understand this part of my behavior better.
The entire chapter itself also reminded me that I was actually extremely lucky in comparison to what most child sexual abuse victims live through-My abuse did not take place within my own home. It did not involve anyone who I had a primary attachment with, and I was able to preserve those relationships.
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<h2>
A New Diagnosis</h2>
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Reading chapter 6 was a watershed moment for me. I literally burst into tears within the first few paragraphs-because for the first time, I had an explanation for what was "wrong" with me.
Throughout my life, I've had an alphabet soup of acronyms and stigmatized labels used to describe me: ADHD, OCD, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), Bipolar Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder-the mental health equivalent of leprosy. None of these labels ever seemed to fit (I was often told I had "atypical" presentations) and the treatments for them never seemed to work. As I learned in this chapter, my experience was not unique-in fact most trauma survivors who are involved in the mental health system are given a series of incorrect diagnoses. Their failure to respond to treatment often results in a hostile doctor-patient relationship, and accusations of malingering-in essence, they are told they must simply <i>want </i>to be sick. The natural tendency to blame the victim results in pejorative diagnostic labels-originally "Hysteria" was used as a catch-all, but this later evolved into "Personality Disorder". Patients with Personality Disorder are said to have an inherent defect in their character that has been there since early childhood and persists throughout their lives- a characterization that only reaffirms that innate sense of "inner badness" that many abuse victims carry with them.
Herman proposes that for patients who have survived prolonged and/or repeated traumatic experiences, a new diagnostic label-Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or C-PTSD.
A good summary of the disorder can be found here:
<a href="http://outofthefog.net/Disorders/CPTSD.html">Out of the Fog: C-PTSD</a>
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<blockquote>
The "Complex" in Complex Post Traumatic Disorder describes how one layer after another of trauma can interact with one another. Sometimes, it is mistakenly assumed that the most recent traumatic event in a person's life is the one that brought them to their knees. However, just addressing that single most-recent event may possibly be an invalidating experience for the C-PTSD sufferer. Therefore, it is important to recognize that those who suffer from C-PTSD may be experiencing feelings from all their traumatic exposure, even as they try to address the most recent traumatic event.
This is what differentiates C-PTSD from the classic PTSD diagnosis - which typically describes an emotional response to a single or to a discrete number of traumatic events.</blockquote>
I will not get into the clinical features of the disorder here, but note that they are the result of the behaviors that were discussed in this diary-those behaviors and traits that help people survive trauma, which become maladaptive once they return to the "real world". Suffice it to say, reading this chapter was like reading a book about my own life-So many feelings and behaviors that had never made sense to me before were transformed and seen through new light.
Astoundingly, it has been over 20 years since Judith Herman wrote this book and proposed the C-PTSD diagnosis, and it still has not been accepted by the psychiatric establishment! Judith Herman gives us a bit of insight into the surprisingly politicized process of getting a diagnosis accepted by the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (commonly referred to as the "DSM"), which may explain why. But regardless of it's inclusion, simply having a name for what I had been feeling for all of these years was very therapeutic.
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<h2>
Part 2</h2>
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Part 2 describes the stages of recovery. This information is very concrete, very helpful, and also reaffirmed my sense of hope that I might be able to live a full life again. Dr. Herman outlines three main stages: establishing safety, remembering and integrating one's story, and re-integrating oneself back into the social world.
But perhaps the most important part of this book came in the last chapter
<b>
Finding a Survivor Mission</b>
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<blockquote>
Most survivors seek the resolution of their traumatic experience within the confines of their personal lives. But a significant minority, as a result of the trauma, feel called upon to engage in a wider world. These survivors recognize a political or religious dimension in their misfortune and discover that they can transform the meaning of their personal tragedy by making it the basis for social action. While there is no way to compensate for an atrocity, there is a way to transcend it, by making it a gift to others. The trauma is redeemed only when it becomes the source of a survivor mission.</blockquote>
For as long as I can remember, I've been trying to channel my experiences into social action-even when I wasn't consciously aware of the link between the two. But I believe that being sexually abused actually made me a liberal. It taught me to distrust authority, and to recognize the dynamics between abuse, power, and oppression.
Over the years, the angry spirit that once made me a juvenile delinquent has not been tamed-my anger is always with me, just smoldering beneath the surface, and I believe it always will be. But I've found ways to channel that anger into something productive-through my writing, activism and advocacy. I just never saw how being sexually abused was relevant. It seemed like a very personal issue, and something I should probably avoid talking about.
But Trauma & Recovery inspired me to break that barrier between the personal and the political and helped me realize that the very act of talking openly about sexual abuse was in fact a powerful political act. I decided to take it a step further though, and this is how the idea for the organzation TREE Climbers was born:<br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/pslogo.png" width="300" /></a><br />
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Formed with my friend and fellow survivor Roxine, TREE Climbers is in it's infancy still (shameless pander-we could REALLY use <a href="http://tree-climbers.org/make-a-donation/">donations</a>! :D) But our goal is to provide services to other survivors of sexual abuse and exploitation, based on the framework Judith Herman lays out in her book. I won't do a hard sell here or anything but if you want to learn what we are all about please visit our website:
http://tree-climbers.org/
And read this diary:
<a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/17/1084228/-Introducing-TREE-Climbers-The-Movement-that-Daily-Kos-Created">Introducing TREE Climbers-The Movement that Daily Kos created</a>
And that word-<i><b>Movement</b></i>-is important. Because sexual abuse is ultimately about power and oppression-and that is something that occurs on every level of society. Survivors of sexual abuse share so many commonalities in their experiences with other oppressed groups, as well as survivors of different types of trauma from political violence/oppression to military combat to human trafficking. Trauma & Recovery helped me to understand those commonalities, and draw strength from them. Reading it helped me truly move from victim to survivor, and in the process it changed my life-and through the work I do going forward, I believe it will change others lives as well.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-68777671131174438322012-05-10T13:51:00.004-07:002012-05-10T13:52:39.854-07:00Fox News Flip Flops, Calls off War on MarriageWell, that didn't take long!<br />
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Yesterday's headline:<br />
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Todays Headline:<br />
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Once again, the republican party shows us that they love <i>starting </i>wars-but when it comes to actually fighting them, they are a bunch of chickenhawks.<br />
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(From the comments at Daily Kos)
Third Version:
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" height="352" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/29et3lz.jpg" width="400" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-37543336594518755992012-05-09T14:16:00.002-07:002012-05-09T14:17:06.456-07:00Well, Duh!The Junior Jewfish was a bit perplexed this afternoon when mom started randomly jumping up and down, screaming and hollering in the middle of making her a sandwich.<br />
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"What are you so happy about?" she asked.<br />
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I sat her down and told her "President Obama just said that a man should be able to marry a man, and a woman should be able to marry a woman if they love each other, just like everyone else"<br />
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She gave me her most withering 5-year old look and said<br />
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<b>"Well, duh!"</b><br />
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Two simple words-but as far as I'm concerned they say it all:<br />
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1. My kindergartener is smarter than 2 out of 3 North Carolinians<br />
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2. Our hope for the future is not found in the pundits who are greeting the news of Obama's endorsement of marriage equality by calling it "groundbreaking" and "historic"-but in a generation of kids who will grow up knowing the only reasonable response to such an endorsement is...<br />
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<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="photo-5" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/photo-5-1.jpg" /></a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-38395471309678872502012-05-08T15:13:00.000-07:002012-05-09T14:15:19.383-07:00One of those days...<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NAc83CF8Ejk?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-42179251225426829832012-05-07T14:36:00.003-07:002012-05-12T20:36:57.884-07:00The Oppressor's Language Sometimes Sounds Beautiful: Let us move on.<i>I will not say again
I sat on his lap. </i><br />
<i>No.
He had me on his lap. </i><br />
<i>You were not raped; he raped you.</i><br />
<i>Memory moves as it can, </i><br />
<i>freedom is yours
to place the verb.</i><br />
<i>and yes, the oppressor's language </i><br />
<i>sometimes sounds beautiful, </i><br />
<i>always dies hard. </i><br />
<i>Let us move on.
— Margaret Randall</i><br />
<br />
The journey that began on January 22nd, 2012 started as personal outcry. The diary I wrote on that day was an impulsive act of defiance against a culture of denial and ignorance about the reality of Child Sexual Abuse. It was also an act of public testimony to a private trauma. I never envisioned it would become anything more than that. Ultimately it did-not because of me, but because of the hundreds of people who responded and said “it happened to me too”. Or their mothers, their sisters, their brothers and their friends. The testimony of survivors, as well as those from the grave. Ghosts of the past emerged. Keep talking, they said. Don’t stop.<br />
<br />
<br />
So over the past months, that's what I've been doing. Not just me, but several other people who have become involved. We have been working, day and night, on creating something from the ashes of tragedy-working on it long before we even knew what it would look like, continuing to work without the benefit of knowing what it will become-yet knowing somehow that it is absolutely necessary. That it is worth the sleepless nights, the triggers, the setbacks-it's necessary. It's not a choice-it's a calling. It's an obligation.
You may have seen examples of some of the work we have been doing-In the diary <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/17/1084228/-Introducing-TREE-Climbers-The-Movement-that-Daily-Kos-Created">Introducing TREE Climbers</a>, I spoke about the journey we have taken so far, and what our vision was. I talked about my lost friend "Rosa", a girl who was abused in ways that defy the imagination, but still held her head high. Who still could smile and see the capacity for good, and wrote poems so beautiful that they made me cry even though she was considered illiterate and borderline mentally retarded.<br />
<br />
I also said I was going to be rolling out a 5 part series on the history of child sexual abuse as a political issue. At the time, I had all but finished this series-and my plan was to put out one installment every few days. To build interest, momentum, and ultimately transform TREE Climbers into what we have envisioned- not just a support group, not simply a non-profit, but the beginning of a social movement to end the sexual abuse and exploitation of children.<br />
<br />
But I only published <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/04/20/1085034/-TREE-Climbers-The-Forgotten-History-of-Trauma-Augustine-in-The-Age-of-Hysteria-Part-1-">Part 1</a>-and then I stopped. And I haven't been able to bring myself to post the rest of it. People keep asking me why, so I'll do my best to explain. <br />
<br />
I'm afraid.
It's that simple, really. I've poured my heart and soul into this series for months. And more importantly, I'm not telling my own story here-I'm telling the story of others. People who have all been forgotten by history. And I'm afraid that I'm not going to do them justice. And more than anything I'm afraid that people won't care. Because I'm talking about events long past, involving something that you cannot even see.<br />
<br />
And as history has shown us-being forced to see what has been kept hidden is often the only true catalyst for social change.
For the civil rights movement, it was the murder of Emmitt Till. Emmitt Till was not the first boy to be given a death sentence for the crime of looking at a white woman. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968. Many of these victims, like Emmitt Till, were children. When Emmitt Till was kidnapped, tortured, shot in the head at point blank range and then thrown into the Tallahatchie River with a cotton fan tied around his neck, he could have easily become another sad statistic. But his mother, Mamie Till Bradley, refused to let her son’s death go unnoticed. And more importantly, she refused to hide the truth about what was done to him. She held a public memorial service, and took the unprecedented step of showing his body in an open casket, in the same condition she found him. When asked why, her answer was simple: “I wanted the world to see what they did to my baby."
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/Till.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
For the Vietnam Anti-War movement, it was the Mei Lei massacre. Hundreds of thousands of innocent Vietnam civilians, many of them children, had been slaughtered before the horrors of Mei Lei came to light. Returning veterans, in an act that was also unprecedented, joined the anti-war movement. They turned in the medals they were awareded for bravery and valor and gave public testimony of the atrocities of war, including their own war crimes. Despite the attempts of the Johnson and Nixon administrations to downplay the casualties and the human toll, with the advent of photojournalism the cruel and devastating reality of warfare was, for the first time in history, undeniable. And never was it more evident than when the photographs from Mei Lei were finally<br />
published.<br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/MeiLei.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
These are horrible images. Many decades later, they are still difficult to look at. But they served a purpose-they forced the public to confront atrocity, and the anger and outrage these images inspired became the catalyst for both the peace movement and the civil rights movement to reach their tipping point. By forcing the public to confront that which has been hidden, images serve as living testimonies for those who cannot speak for themselves.
But what do you do when the atrocity is one that you cannot see?
The sexual abuse of children is devastating and prevalent. But it is also very well hidden. The crime itself almost always takes place in isolation. There are often few, if any, physical signs of abuse.
And unlike Emmitt Till, or the Mei Lei massacre, there are no images. The only photo documentation of child sexual abuse is child pornography, and to show it publicly would be a grotesque form of re-victimization. And even professionals who have to view child pornography as part of the investigative process often report being disturbed by seeing children giggling and smiling as they are being abused. Sexual offenders turn abuse into a game, and go to great lengths to get their victims to see it the same way. They point to the involuntary physical responses to stimulation as proof that their victims are enjoying the experience, and then use this as a way to keep them silent. This is especially effective with male victims, who are often afraid of being seen as gay.
As Judith Herman writes in “Trauma & Recovery”:
<br />
<blockquote>
“Participation in forbidden sexual activity […] confirms the abused child’s sense of badness. Any gratification that the child is able to glean from the exploitative situation becomes proof in her mind that she instigated and bears full responsibility for the abuse. If she ever experienced sexual pleasure, enjoyed the abuser’s special attention, bargained for favors, or used the sexual relationship to gain privileges, these sins are adduced as evidence of her innate wickedness. The child entrapped in this kind of horror develops the belief that she is somehow responsible for the crimes of her abusers. Simply by virtue of her existence on earth, she believes that she has driven the most powerful people in her world to do terrible things. Surely, then, her nature must be thoroughly evil. The language of the self becomes a language of abomination. Survivors routinely describe themselves as outside the com-pact of ordinary human relations, as supernatural creatures or nonhuman life forms. They think of themselves as witches, vampires, whores, dogs, rats, or snakes. Some use the imagery of excrement or filth to describe their inner sense of self. In the words of an incest survivor: “I am filled with black slime. If I open my mouth it will pour out. I think of myself as the sewer silt that a snake would breed upon” […}The profound sense of inner badness becomes the core around which the abused child’s identity is formed, and it persists into adult life"</blockquote>
And this is the gravest injury that many abused children are left with. Physical wounds heal over time. That sense of “inner badness”, the feelings of being “contaminated” and “different” remain persistent and pernicious. Depression, feelings of worthlessness, self-injury, and despair can continue into adulthood. Ultimately, they can become lethal.
Below the fold is my attempt to help you see those hidden injuries-and maybe help those of you who still don't get it to finally understand what we are fighting against.
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
This is Vale:
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/Vale.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
This image is from the blog of my friend,<a href="http://fortheboysfromthismom.tumblr.com/"> For The Boys, From This Mom.</a>
Vale is 14 years old in this picture. He is anorexic. He is anorexic because he hates his body-because his body has been raped.<br />
<br />
This is a picture that Vale's sister drew
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/tumblr_ll39ffITbs1qgg2do.jpg" /></a><br />
In the words of her mom:
<br />
<blockquote>
Do you have any idea how much I was leveled when I saw what she wrote? After sitting down with her and speaking with her, she expressed how she wished she could die. My 11 year old. Wants to die. Now I don’t think it’s a literal wish to kill herself, and she’s said that she doesn’t really want to hurt herself, but I think the expression of her heart is that she would rather die than continue the path that she is on.
She is so continually afraid that Vale is going to die that she seems to be beside herself. She sits next to Vale during the school day, so when he wears a t shirt she sees his scarred arms, and that troubles her quite a bit. She has a very sensitive soul, so those scars are a constant reminder of the distress that Vale is in.
Yes, of all my children, Dolorosa is the most dramatic. Yes, of all of them she would be the most sensitive, she can’t watch Monsters, Inc. because it’s too frightening for her. But still…to have such a heavy impact. Vale’s perp damaged that precious child so badly, but he’s damaged so many other people as well. It’s as if he shot Vale with scatter shot, and we are all collateral damage. </blockquote>
These are the scars on my wrist from one of my 3 suicide attempts.
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Untitled" border="0" height="320" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/Untitled-7.jpg" width="239" /></a><br />
This is my face after my boyfriend grabbed me by my ponytail and repeatedly slammed my face into the wall of our apartment-breaking my nose, and chipping 2 of my teeth.<br />
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/1week-1.jpg" /></a><br />
Neither of these injuries were directly caused by sexual abuse-but sexual abuse still caused both of them. Because it made me feel worthless-so worthless that I wanted to die. So worthless that I could love a man who would do that to me-I could ONLY love men who would do that to me.
This is a Tree Climber and her sister
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/image001-1.png" /></a>
What you don’t see in that photograph is that those two little girls were forced to sexually abuse each other by their own grandfather. And they no longer speak. That little girl on the left is 43 years old now, slowly killing herself with alcohol.<br />
<br />
This is all I have to show. At least for now.
Sexual abuse only comes to the surface when those who have been victims of it speak out. And to speak out is an act of defiance-defiance, first and foremost against your abuser, who has often conditioned you into silence. Depending on the identity of your abuser, you are simultaneously committing an act of defiance against your own family and community. It is defiance against the human instinct to deny and repress human atrocities-something that operates on both an individual and societal level. It forces the bystander to become a witness- thrusting them into a conflict between victim and perpetrator where they are forced to choose a side. As Judith Herman wrote <i>"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering."</i><br />
<br />
This is not just true of Child Sexual Abuse-it is true of every type of human atrocity. The need to deny, displace, sanitize and ultimately forget horrific events has been played out, again and again, throughout the course of human history. When the survivors voice is marginalized-when their status is already devalued (i.e. a woman, a child) it is easy to do so. Marginalized people can be discredited easily, and written off entirely.<br />
<br />
Occasionally the voices of survivors become impossible to ignore though-and when that happens we may respond, but also rush to sanitize their experience and turn it into something more socially palpable that does not threaten the status quo. The atrocities of slavery were banished from our consciousness with the emancipation proclamation, and it’s empty promises of reparations. Native Americans were given their reservations. Returning war veterans get their GI bills, their parades and memorials. When these gestures fail to satisfy and that anger continues, the reaction is one of weariness and disgust-<i>you got what you wanted, why are you still carrying on about?</i> The anger of the survivor, their dissatisfaction becomes a testament to their own moral failings. It is assumed that they must simply enjoy being seen as victims.<br />
<br />
And this is what I have to confront every time I write about it. Because I am not over it-I’m still angry. I can’t stop talking about it. And every time I do, I run that risk-I can hear the unspoken reactions in my head.<i> Oh here she goes again, talking about this. She must really be reveling in all this attention. </i><br />
<br />
What people may not understand is that I fucking HATE this. Even though I write about it constantly, I take no pleasure in talking about my abuse-every time I do it triggers me. My visable scars are a source of shame for me to this day-every morning I have to look at the nose that is slightly off kilter and the scar on my lip, the lines from where that razor cut into my flesh, and I have to confront it again. Every day. It is humiliating to share these pictures publicly. I will probably end up deleting them shortly-but for the time being, you can have a glimpse into what this does to you.<br />
<br />
Like most people, I really just want to be normal. But I know I never will be.<br />
<br />
In the words of Lawrence Langer, a Holocaust Scholar: <i>"The survivor does not travel a road from the normal to the bizarre back to the normal, but from the normal to the bizarre back to a normalcy so permeated by the bizarre encounter with atrocity that it can never be purified again. The two worlds haunt each other."</i><br />
<br />
But I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Financially, personally, I just don’t know anymore. Because the crime you cannot see leaves very real scars-which can easily break open and become festering wounds again. I’m trying to deal with it while keeping up my momentum, but sometimes it's just too much. And I just want to go back to that life I had before- keeping all of this buried, going through the motions, and existing. I want to slip back into that comfortable numbness again. The only thing that stops me is the fact that so many people are depending on me to keep this going-but I have to be honest, I'm going to collapse under that weight soon.<br />
<br />
There is no conclusion to this diary-just a call for help. Please don’t let our voices go unheard. See the crime that remains invisible. Bear witness and then join us to fight for something approaching justice.<br />
<br />
But whatever you do, please don't ask us to move on. Some of us never will.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-75771956192861999762012-05-06T22:25:00.000-07:002012-05-12T20:37:22.791-07:00Jerry Sandusky Was Running An Overnight Football Camp For Kids On Penn State Campus in 2009<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZa0_He3lXa2r5lRwPcu5Pa347_EjlYx-YVRR0ReLpM8h-l6u-VMZnlhkK-w2ScsHW4GsUBSuRE6z66K8lsVPcXwQ92diN3kNd6aVfRo_qtQWQA6e2oeeAbkPvY5uCPM9iZ5YtqoVtaEY/s1600/xlarge_183880c85fdd85fdab5bfca8c69d980f.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZa0_He3lXa2r5lRwPcu5Pa347_EjlYx-YVRR0ReLpM8h-l6u-VMZnlhkK-w2ScsHW4GsUBSuRE6z66K8lsVPcXwQ92diN3kNd6aVfRo_qtQWQA6e2oeeAbkPvY5uCPM9iZ5YtqoVtaEY/s320/xlarge_183880c85fdd85fdab5bfca8c69d980f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Oops, my bad...this actually isn't "breaking" news at all. <a href="http://deadspin.com/5856887/">It was reported by the website Deadspin on November 6th, 2011 </a>and
for whatever reason it never got picked up. I just happened to run
across this story in the process of researching something else-even my
friends who <i>live </i>in PA and have been following this story closely had no idea.<br />
<br />
But
yes, it appears that after learning that Jerry Sandusky was raping
children in their locker rooms, Penn State officials did what any
reasonable institution would do-they asked Jerry to hand over his keys
and please kindly take his forcible sodomy to a more discreet location.
Like, say, their satellite campus in Erie PA:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://wayback.archive.org/web/jsp/Interstitial.jsp?seconds=5&date=1219170516000&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thesanduskyfootballcamp.com.%2F&target=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.archive.org%2Fweb%2F20080819182836%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.thesanduskyfootballcamp.com.%">According to the organizations now defunct website:</a><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The
goal of the camp is to learn as much about the game of football while
having an enjoyable experience. Jerry Sandusky's personal experience and
his excellent staff will cater to each individual camper helping them
to reach their personal potential. With a variety of individual drills
for every position team drills, and games, the participants will be able
to build a solid fundamental background for which they can carry the
rest of their lives. They will walk away with many of the ideas and
concepts Jerry Sandusky has used during his brilliant career. A career
that included two national championships and 28 bowl appearances!
Lessons on life discipline, teamwork, trust, and loyalty will be
stressed in motivational speeches by great guest speakers and selected
video presentations. Regular camp instructors will include members of
Jerry's family, other college and high school coaches, and former Penn
State players.</blockquote>
<br />
Included in the brochure for the sleepover camp is this legal disclaimer:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"It
is understood that Penn State Behrend, the directors, or anyone
connected with the college will not assume any responsibility for
accident (medical or dental) or any other expenses incurred as a result
of accidents. The college is not responsible for lost equipment."</blockquote>
<br />
And apparently, not responsible for lost childhoods either.<br />
<br />
It is worth noting that Deadspin, which describes itself as <b>"Sports News without Access, Favor, or Discretion"</b> <a href="http://adage.com/article/agency-news/penn-state-enlists-ketchum-crisis-communications/231016">PSU hired it's elite Public Relations team</a> to handle media coverage, among other things. <br />
<br />
It
is safe to say that the Public Relations campaign worked-something that
PSU president Rodney Erickson seemed positively giddy about mere days
after Jerry Sandusky was charged with multiple counts of child rape-he
triumphantly stated <a href="http://deadspin.com/5873489/we-are-taking-control-of-the-narrative-said-psu-president-in-stupidly-triumphant-sandusky-memo?tag=jerrysandusky%22%3E">"We are taking control of our narrative"</a><br />
<br />
He might not have control over that narrative for much longer, though.<br />
<br />
Indeed, as the Sandusky trial gears up we are learning more and more about the other players in this horrific saga. In March,<a href="http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2012/03/experts_penn_state_investigati.html%22%3E">Federal Authorities began their own investigation</a> into Penn State Cover-ups, bribes, fraud, misuse of government funds appear to be the focus of their investigation. <br />
<br />
At the center of all of this is the often <a href="http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2011/11/patriot-news_special_report_th.html%22%3E">overlapping interests of Penn State and Second Mile</a>,
Jerry Sandusky's charity, and their ties to the big name donors and
politicians who sat on their respective boards. At the top of this
sordid totem pole is Governor Tom Corbett who was both acting Attorney
General AND receiving generous campaign donations from both institutions
and their alumni while his office was conducting the Sandusky
investigation. Something doesn't smell right there, to put it mildly.<br />
<br />
But priorities, people. Priorities.<a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/05/06/1089195/-Tree-Climbers-Penn-State-It-s-STILL-all-about-Paterno-and-Money-Where-are-the-Victims">As Roxine diaried about earlier</a>,
PSU has just elected 2 new members to their board of trustees, and they
know that some things just take precedence over figuring out how a
serial pedophile was able to use their campuses as his personal
playground for over 2 decades and maybe, ya know, doing something about
it:<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I don't think
we can get the alumni behind any of the other issues until we get the
Paterno issue resolved," [newly elected board member Anthony Lubrano]
said after today's meeting. "That's really the elephant in the room."<br />
<br />
[SNIP]<br />
<br />
"Let's
just admit that we made a mistake, apologize, and then we can move on,"
Lubrano said. "Because if the alumni are happy they're going to give
and they're going to help us bridge the obvious budget gaps we're going
to have because the state is going to cut appropriations."</blockquote>
<br />
Yes, must make the alum happy so they start opening up those wallets again! That's what's it's all about, isn't it. <br />
<br />
That apology he speaks of, by the way, is not for the victims. <br />
<br />
It's for Joe Paterno.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-45792143681879607002012-05-06T22:23:00.000-07:002012-05-12T20:37:36.342-07:00Meet Jane Doe: An "Infamous" Rape Victim Reclaims Her Dignity<b>[Massive Trigger Warning for this entire post]</b>
I first "met" Jane Doe about 8 years ago. I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend at the time, watching TV. One of those hour-long primetime crime specials was on.
I love these shows normally- murder mysteries fascinate me. But this one was different. This was not about a murder, it was about a rape.<br />
<br />
Or was it? That was left up to the viewer to decide.<br />
<br />
My knee-jerk reaction was to change the channel. It hits too close to home, and I hadn't told my boyfriend what happened to me. But then, it occurs to me that to change the channel would provoke questions-and may even be seen as a form of admission. I also wanted to gauge his reaction-to see if it was safe to finally tell him the truth.<br />
<br />
As the program went on I could sense him getting restless. He started shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Angry, I presumed. Men get angry when they hear about rape. It was, I thought, a good sign. And then he said, out loud, the two words that rocked me to my core:
<i> </i><br />
<br />
<i>Stupid Bitch.</i><br />
<br />
"What did you say?" I asked, incredulous.<br />
<br />
That bitch, he said, is stupid as hell. And then he continued-
<i>She knew what she was in for when she went to that house
What kind of hoe goes to a house with a bunch of dudes?
Listen to that, she fucked them the night before!
She got fucked up and let them run a train on her, and now she wants to cry rape.</i><br />
<br />
I don't remember too well what happened next- other than it ended in me throwing the remote in a straight shot at his head and running out of the room in tears.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
This is the "stupid bitch" he was referring to:
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/781329687.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
Over the years, she has been called by many other names. As the victim in one of the most high-profile and controversial rape cases in U.S. history, there is hardly a slur that hasn't been used against her. In a case that still, for reasons that seem inexplicable, inspires controversy and debate she is even subjected to hearing them in her own classroom, as R. Scott Moxley explains in his cover story for the O.C. Weekly"<a href="http://www.ocweekly.com/2012-04-26/news/jane-doe-greg-haidl-gang-rape/">Meet Jane Doe</a>":
<br />
<blockquote>
Though long over, the case remains polarizing, especially in classrooms such as the one with Doe in attendance. Those who side with the defendants are often the angriest. They opine that the victim enticed the men by wearing provocative clothes and flirting. Some people go so far as to claim the girl's mere presence with partying men was a "green light" for a gangbang. Those are infuriating stances to Doe, who kept her mouth shut during the debate. Neither the professor nor the other students knew that if she spoke, she would do so with compelling authority.
"I was unconscious, and there's a video to prove it," she tells me, unable to mask her incredulity.
</blockquote>
That simple statement of fact- s<i>he was unconscious, and there is video to prove it</i>-should have made this an open shut case. Instead, thanks to the pernicious influence of money, power, and politics the Haidl gang rape trial-as it came to be known-stretched on for 3 agonizing years. The trial of Jane Doe, played out in the court of public opinion, has been raging on for 10 years with seemingly no end in sight.
To see how this played out, look no further than the comments that litter every news outlet that covers this story:
<br />
<blockquote>
I just watched a show talking about the whole thing, and I definatley feel like the girl was just being a whore.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
"Jane Doe" was asking for everything that happened to her on the 5th.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
I feel bad for these boys. this little slut ruined their lives, just to save her own.</blockquote>
<blockquote>
When is this girl going to learn shes out of control. i wish i could see her, so i could spit on her. 3 years those boys spent in prison. they didn't deserve ONE day</blockquote>
<blockquote>
"jane doe" was a whore! she was easy and slept with all the guys she could.. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
that girl was a slut and was a willing participant. Those kids he should have never served a day in jail. ANY boy at their age with a slut like that would do the same thing...what were the parents thinking when rising this girl?? I hope that woman who voted guilty in the first trial which resulted in a hung jury will have something terrible happen to her. Dumb bitch..</blockquote>
<blockquote>
It would have been great fun for everyone had there not been a camera involved. If the tape had not been discovered, she probably would have been back for some more action.
Maybe is she wins the $26 million dollar lawsuit, she can setup her own studio, then we can all see her in action online now that she is of age.
</blockquote>
Oh, but those are just the illiterate neanderthals who litter mainstream news outlets. Surely the reaction at a <a href="http://www.theliberaloc.com/2008/01/26/greg-haidl-gets-out-of-jail/">progressive site </a> would be different, right?
Or not.
<br />
<blockquote>
I wish I felt sorry for “Jane Doe”. But I can’t. I honestly do not believe that she was raped. I find the boys’ behavior depraved, but not criminal. Apparently, she wasn’t “raped” until the cops informed her parents. Sounds like a bad case of buyer’s remorse to me. It must be easier to convince yourself that you’re a victim than to admit that you’re a drunk who has low self-esteem and poor decision making abilities.
All this does is undermine the credibility of real rape victims.
This idiot would’ve been served to face her shortcomings, check into rehab, and get serious therapy to deal with her issues. Instead, she does meth and gets and undisclosed sum of money in settlement of her CIVIL SUIT against the defendants’ parents, etc. etc.
No wonder she won’t show her face in public.
<b>For the record, I am a woman and a mother, and a social worker.</b>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
Its pretty obvious that all those accusing the three now young men of being rapists are confused about whether or not a crime occured or just a lapse in both “Jane Doe” and the boys’ judgement. What young girl would admit to such a decision when being confronted by her parents. No way I would EVER want my parents to discover me in such an act. Nevertheless, I cannot deny that I have done things considered immoral. Its something we all do. Maybe had everyone not treated her as if making a concious decision like that made her a “whore” or terrible person, she would have had the strength to be truthful. We all make mistakes sometimes- you don’t have to agree with certain choices but at least respect that they are person choices and there is always room for morals and people to change. Unfortunately now we have three young men forever wrongly demised and a young female in such a state of denial, she may never learn the value of her own independence and allowance to make her own decisions. She must continue indefinately to keep up appearances–no room for mistakes.</blockquote>
Even those who come out to defend "Jane Doe" often do so grudgingly, and not before acknowledging that her behavior makes her less than sympathetic.
<br />
<blockquote>
Yes the boys shouldn't have abused her with all of those items, but unfortunately if you are that slutty you become a joke.</blockquote>
But online comments, even on a liberal site, are always a crapshoot. Perhaps the professionals involved in the case would show a little more tact?
<a href="http://www.ocweekly.com/content/printVersion/41144/">Or not.</a>
<br />
<blockquote>
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/781341728.jpg" /></a>In just his opening statement, a pacing, finger-pointing Cavallo told the jury that the girl—next to the tape itself, the prosecution's star witness--is "a nut," "a pathological liar," "a cheater," an "out-of-control girl," "the aggressor," a wanna-be "porn star," "a troubled young lady," "a tease--that's what she is!" "a mess," a "master manipulator," a "little opportunist," "a compulsive liar," "a cheat--that's what she is" and a "callous" drug addict and alcoholic who trimmed her pubic hair, bragged about liking group sex and once drank a beer in a car.
"Why was her vagina and anus completely shaved?" Cavallo asked jurors. "How many teenagers have a shaved vagina and anus? I don't know, but I can think of a reason. Sex! She's a sexual person!"
During preliminary hearings, Cavallo called Doe a "slut"; on this day, he stayed away from the word. However, he told the jury several times that everyone, including the girl's parents, "knows what she is." Talk outside the courtroom was less coy. In the hallway just outside, a defense consultant openly and repeatedly called Jane Doe "a fucking whore."</blockquote>
OK, but those are defense attorneys, trying to keep their clients out of jail. Surely the media covered this story properly, right?
<br />
<blockquote>
""I hate this case because . . . the victim's promiscuous behavior plays into the overall context...The message has to be: To girls who think it's cool or necessary to engage in promiscuous sex, think of Jane Doe."
-Dana Parsons, syndicated columnist for the L.A. Times</blockquote>
<i>(Just, wait, there’s more)</i>
And then there was the high ranking Sherrif's official who came out and publicly expressed his sympathy-No, not for the 16 year old victim, but for the father of one of the alleged rapists, Don Haidl. Don Haidl, you see, was a Sherriff too- despite having no formal training he was given a gun and a badge, apparently as a reward for his generous campaign contributions to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Carona">Mike Carona</a>, the lead Sherrif and Coroner for Orange County. In return for the mufti-millionaires friendship and generous donations to his campaign, Haidl had what he called a "get out of jail free card"- and he decided to use it on his 17 year old rapist son. Carona used his power and influence to try and coerce the lead prosecutor into trying the 3 young men as juvenilles- but more on that in a minute.
Then there is the elite defense team hired with Haidl's millions. The team included O.J. Simpson jury consultant Jo-Ellan Dimitrius, and an elite team of private investigators who distributed fliers all over Jane Doe's neighborhood, revealing her identity and purporting to be from her family. They went through her garbage and illegally released her medical records to members of the press. They contacted her high school classmates, disclosing her identity as a sexual assault victim. They were so successful in publicly identifying and smearing her that they inspired a vigilante. One night, after the first trial resulted in a hung jury, an unidentified man viciously attacked the girl he identified as Jane Doe, ambushing her outside her home and beating her in the head and face with a rock. Only problem-he got the wrong girl- a neighbor who looked like the picture on the flyer. When she screamed out "I'm not [Jane Doe's name]" the assault abruptly ended.
And then there was the full time publicist, who undoubtedly played a role in the breathtaking editorial support the Haidl gang recieved from two local daily newspapers that covered the case. As O.C. Weekly reporter R. Scott Moxley describes in his scathing article "<a href="http://www.ocweekly.com/2004-07-08/news/justice-takes-a-pool-cue/2/">Justice Takes a Pool Cue</a>":
<br />
<blockquote>
The Register's Steven Greenhut, who never bothered to visit the courtroom, opined on May 9 that it's less of a crime if a girl is sexually assaulted by someone she knows. He chastised prosecutors for not granting the defendants leniency. "There's real questions here about justice," said Greenhut.
Dana Parsons of the Times showed up for less than 10 percent of the trial and, as best I can determine, never bothered to read the case file or interview anyone on the prosecution's side. In discussions with his colleagues, he ridiculed the Weekly's exclusive description of the content of Haidl's tape, but he's never seen the video. He must have been content to rely upon his regular, private briefings with Haidl publicist Tori Richards and Barnett.
In a trial-eve, May 2 column that shamelessly regurgitated defense-supplied lies about Doe—she liked to use "a pool cue on herself" and "agreed to have sex on videotape"—Parsons called on the jury to ignore the state's rape-by-intoxication law. Why? "Given what they knew about the girl," wrote Parsons. "Did it even occur to the boys that they were committing a crime? I doubt they did." When he drew that conclusion, not one piece of evidence had yet been presented in court.</blockquote>
And that leads us to the producers of 48 Hours Hard Evidence on CBS-where the case first reached the national spotlight. This is the program I was watching that night-the one that inspired my boyfriend to go on his tirade and put me in the uncomfortable position of defending a victim of a crime I knew all too well while at the same time wondering, based on what I was seeing, if she had even been a victim in the first place.
The entire transcript can be read <a href="http://www.livedash.com/transcript/48_hours__hard_evidence-%28eye_of_the_beholder%29/6018/TLCP/Sunday_April_11_2010/257571/">here</a>, but here is a snippet of how it was described:
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: Then, in a decision that would change everything, one of the boys reached for greg's camera and began filming -- all of it. <b>Teenage sex with the same girl</b>, only this time, the boys were all together.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: She had the drink, and then she just started taking off her .. just pretty much saying, "oh, yeah.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: And you took that to mean she wants to have sex with all three of you?
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: That’s exactly what she meant by it.</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: "So let's go ahead"?
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Yeah.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: In the garage was a pool table, like this one. The girl was sprawled on top of it, and the sex was far from ordinary.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: What did you guys do?
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Kinky sexual acts. There was different objects. </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: What made you guys think of doing that?
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Curious guys, I guess -- curious drunk kids.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: From his point of view, Greg and his friends and the girl herself all knew what they were getting into.
(talking to Haidl) And she was okay with that? </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Yes. </blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: And you're sure of that?
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Yes.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>: Greg Haidl says the girl consented to the whole thing.
(speaking to Haidl): You do know if a woman says, "no," you're supposed to stop?<i> (Note to Lagattuta-you may want to point out that if a woman is unconscious you aren't supposed to start in the first place)</i>
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Definitely.
<b></b></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Lagattuta</b>:Did she ever say, "no"?</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<b>Haidl</b>: Not one time.
</blockquote>
In the hour long special, the rapists are given a virtual tongue bath by Mike Lagattuta, who appears as a concerned father or coach talking, at times a bit sternly, to his boys. Much time is spent interviewing their parents and friends, who glowingly describe them as “good kids” with “strong moral compass”. Scenes of the young men skateboarding and dressing up for graduation are punctuated by close ups showing soft-focus photographs of the 3 in their little league uniforms and school portraits. The boys and their parents lament the sex-saturated culture that corrupted their young minds. As Greg Haidl explains it, the depraved sexual culture teaches him “That it's all right to do these types of things. It’s all right to participate in sex. It's okay to have sex and even kinky sex.”
But the majority of the program is dedicated to a character assassination of the girl at the center of the case-then known as Jane Doe. Doe makes a brief cameo, her identity obscured in shadow. The aired segments of her interview last for a grand total of 5 minutes- during which time she is mostly peppered with questions about her "slutty" behavior. The combative tone of Mike Lagutta's interrogation stands in stark contrast to the velvet glove treatment given to the men who raped her.
The story stops at the end of the first trial, which results in a mistrial after a hung jury. The young men and their families are seen rejoicing at the non-verdict, and the jurors are interviewed.
The jurors-all but one of them men (many of whom were hired as defense consultants at the second trial) -reveal that they were more than willing to let all 3 of the Haidl gang off the hook. Among their reasons for voting for acquittal- Jane Doe had a pillow under her head. (<i>"It's very hard for me to think that somebody who was gang-raping someone would think of making them comfortable, to put a pillow under their head."</i>), and when they saw the defendants they thought of their own sons. Indeed, the lone holdout was the one female juror, who voted guilty on all counts.
And then, in closing, Lagattuta makes sure to mention that Jane Doe was recently arrested for Methamphetamine possession and is planning on suing for damages. Two completely unrelated facts that are nonetheless woven together, leaving the distinct impression that Jane Doe is suing for money that she can use to buy drugs with.
What the 48 hours special, along with most of the mainstream coverage of this story, completely gloss over is the crime itself.
<br />
<h2>
The Crime</h2>
<hr />
<br />
The irony in all of this is that despite the frenzied attempts of the media and the defense team to portray this as a complex case, despite all of the ongoing debate and controversy it continues to inspire, the Haidl gang rape is perhaps the most open and shut Sexual Assault case you could ever find, for one compelling reason-all of it was captured on video. And the video, in a stunning move, was made available not just to the jurors but to the media during the first trial. R. Scott Moxley was one of the reporters who had to sit through it, and describes it in all of it's depraved detail <a href="http://www.ocweekly.com/2004-05-06/news/haidl-your-daughters/">here </a>, starting around page 2. <b>[TRIGGER WARNING-what is described is the stuff of nightmares]</b>
I normally would not link to such a graphic description of a rape, but because this tape was publicly available it is necessary to show how terribly this case was bungled by the media. Here is a basic rundown of what happened <b>(again, be warned that this is graphic and disturbing stuff)</b>
<br />
<blockquote>
•When the tape was first discovered, this was treated as a potential homicide/necrophilia case, because Jane Doe was assumed to be a corpse. Her eyes are closed the entire time and in the words of the prosecutor she is as limp as a rag doll.
•She remains unconscious as she is raped-orally, vaginally, and anally by all 3 of the defendants. They laugh and dance to a misogynistic rap track as they abuse her lifeless body.
•At one point they drop her and she hits her head on the side of the couch, hard enough to momentarily stir her from unconsciousness.
•She is thrown onto a pool table and has a Snapple bottle, a can of apple juice and a lit cigarette inserted into her vagina before she is raped vaginally and anally with a pool cue.
•While she is being raped with the pool cue, one of the boys (Greg Haidl) is seen feeling her abdomen to see how far they are able to penatrate her body. He also slaps her genitals, stomach and breasts. She remains non-responsive throughout.
•While being raped with the pool cue, she urinates-causing the boys to laugh and shriek in feigned horror and disgust.
•When they are done, they clumsily dress her body (they are unable to get her bra back on) and she wakes up covered in urine, vomit, and seminal fluid in her parked car, with no memory of what happened to her.
</blockquote>
Date rape. A cuddly euphamism used to describe an atrocious crime. Date rape is perhaps the most common type of sexual assault, and the least prosecuted. Most victims wake up sore, disheveled, aware that something has transpired but with no knowledge of what happened to them. If they seek medical attention, the traces of the drugs (GHB is the most common) used to knock them out have often disappeared from their bloodstream. Without the ability to testify as to what happened, it usually goes unpunished.
Wonder why? Look no further than the viscous treatment of Jane Doe -the perfect illustration of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture">Rape Culture</a>:
<br />
<blockquote>
Rape culture is a term or concept used to describe a culture in which rape and sexual violence are common and in which prevalent attitudes, norms, practices, and media normalize, excuse, tolerate, or even condone sexual violence. Examples of behaviors commonly associated with rape culture include victim blaming, sexual objectification, and trivializing rape. </blockquote>
Victims like Jane Doe learn very quickly what rape culture is all about. If you stray outside of the accepted gender norms, it really doesn't matter what happens to you because you probably deserved it.
I learned it personally, around the same time as she did. Amazingly enough, it was exactly one moth prior, to the day, that it happened to her.
Like Jane Doe, I was a teenager. Like Jane Doe, I was troubled-arguably more troubled than she was, in fact. I ran away from home frequently. I used and sold drugs. I lied to my parents constantly and by the time that summer rolled around I was so out of control that they placed me in a group home for troubled youths. I was on an approved outing when I met him- a man in his late 40's. He looked normal. He had a nice car, and a nice smile. When he offered me a ride, I got in willingly. And like Jane Doe, I was more than happy to smoke his pot-not knowing that, like Jane Doe, it had been laced with another substance. The substance-PCP-did not knock me unconscious, but it did effectively paralyze me.
And like Jane Doe, after I went forward I saw my reputation destroyed. I was called a slut also, and accused of prostitution. The defense team also hired a team of private investigators who trailed me, and contacted my friends and classmates to dig up dirt. Like Jane Doe, his attorneys pressured my family to take a plea bargain to avoid the pain and humiliation of going to trial. Ultimately we succumbed to the pressure- a plea bargain was reached, and received less than a year in prison and had to register as a sex offender.
But Jane Doe stood firm under the pressure. After the first trial resulted in a hung jury, she refused to bow under the public pressure to drop the charges. After a second excruciating trial, in which the witness list included, among others, a porn star who testified that Doe could have easily been faking unconsciousness in order to create "necrophilia themed porn", and in a stunning act of Orwellian doublethink, the defense team simultaneously argued that Jane Doe had feigned unconsciousness and in fact <i><b>raped the boys</b></i>, but could not be considered a victim because she was unconscious the entire time. The second jury, thankfully, was not so easily duped. They convicted the Haidl gang on all counts, and they each received a 7 year sentence. Jane Doe also successfully sued the defense team for violating California's rape shield law, and her case resulted in reforms to the law that protects other victims from having their identity revealed or their sexual histories brought into court.
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img align="right" alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/781341428.jpg" width="300" /></a><i>From left-Kyle Nachreiner, Keith Spann, Greig Haidl</i>
It didn't end there though-Mike Cardona, the sheriff coroner who tried to influence the prosecution, found himself under federal investigation.
<embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="v=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbclosangeles.com%2Fi%2Fembed_new%2F%3Fcid%3D34369509&path=%2Fhttp://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Rape-Survivor-Inspires-Others-at-Victims-Rights-Rally-149270045.html" height="324" src="http://media.nbclosangeles.com/assets/pdk449/pdk/swf/flvPlayer.swf?pid=wXO3NZX6OOyUiiqdbxqHpaBR2nVxHT9D&t=0-82" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="576"></embed> <br />
<div style="font-size: small;">
<br /></div>
The sherrif, a self-proclaimed "Conservative Christian" who was deemed "America's Sherrif" by Larry King and was appointed by none other than George W. Bush to sit on the Senior Advisory Committee on Homeland Security, was convicted of witness tampering and is now enjoying the view from the inside of a federal prison cell. The star witness against him? None other than Don Haidl. By turning states witness, Haidl was able to avoid prosecution and is now enjoying life traveling between his mansions in Las Vegas and Newport Beach, along with his son who was paroled in 2010.
As for the gang of 3, they served their pitifully short sentences and were last heard whinging about the unfairness of being labeled sex offenders. In a joint motion filed by the defense, they argue among other things, that they were not given the opportunity to sufficiently attack Doe’s character in open court. And par for the course, the editorial boards have rushed to their defense once again.<a href="http://www.ocregister.com/articles/nachreiner-244065-sex-prison.html#"> In an article published on April 10th, 2010</a>, Kyle Nachreiner is described as a “clean-cut, courteous man, a looker capable of approaching a woman and easily securing a date.” In the article, Nachreiner laments his RSO status-at one point stating, apparently without a hint of irony- <i><b>"Psychologically, it's devastating. It's the worst form of degradation there is."</b> </i>Their appeal was denied.
And then there is Jane Doe. After battling severe depression , Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and ultimately an addiction to Meth, she pulled her life back together. She now volunteers as a licensed victims rights advocate, works in a doctors office, and lives on her own with a shelter dog she adopted named Daisy. She still has difficulty trusting people, and has avoided dating. She admits that she thinks about what happened to her every day, and will probably remain in counseling for the rest of her life. But this past Friday, she did something monumental-Jane Doe decided to step out of the shadows in a very public way- She was the featured speaker at the Victims Rights rally, and it is there where she revealed her name for the first time:
<embed allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" flashvars="v=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nbclosangeles.com%2Fi%2Fembed_new%2F%3Fcid%3D149322085&path=%2Fhttp://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Rape-Survivor-Inspires-Others-at-Victims-Rights-Rally-149270045.html" height="324" src="http://media.nbclosangeles.com/assets/pdk449/pdk/swf/flvPlayer.swf?pid=UtF2HEr6MLZlpnlOKczp_X9Tshsywsfr&t=42-103" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="576"></embed> <br />
<div style="font-size: small;">
<br /></div>
Jane Doe is a woman named Alisa-A name meaning "Of Noble Kind", which seems very fitting.
As she says in her interview with Moxley:
<br />
<blockquote>
"In 2002, my world collapsed, and I lost everything I knew," she says. "But now I've turned a horrible situation into a positive. I've taken my life back."
"I want to send hope and to inspire other sexual assault victims. I want women to know that they can go to the depths of hell and still make it out."</blockquote>
In that, it is safe to say, she succeeded.
Alisa is now the 120'th person to be put on our <a href="http://tree-climbers.org/gallery/survivor-wall-2/">survivor wall</a> where she stands shoulder to shoulder with Oscar Winners, Nobel Laureates, as well as ordinary people like me, and my fellow Kossack Roxine.
Meet Alisa-my new hero.
<a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img align="middle" alt="Photobucket" border="0" src="http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e191/sumblondechick/9a4f0eb14858d57454ec30b858045ee8.jpg" /></a>
<br />
<br />
<b>
**UPDATE**</b>
I just received an email response from R. Scott Moxley-the reporter who I cite throughout this diary:
<br />
<blockquote>
Hi Rebecca:
Just finished reading your post. Wow! Excellent, powerful writing!
I'll give Alisa the link and your email. Spoke with her for several
hours last night. She's doing great and, as you can appreciate, is
touched beyond belief in the outpourings of support.
Regards,
Scott</blockquote>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2285799830550920881.post-42097023354378270162012-05-05T13:46:00.001-07:002012-05-05T13:46:36.250-07:00To Those Who Have Gone Home Tired<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9dQqnv_HUx77HaUbyJP8MH-2cUNcPyMgaP4VC0u9DNYy-kS2YG1Qp4wC85dYcli0P895yhJfUTFSEiyxVj8RgqiVwCRxrI1gurmGL_QUrpk1gbz1WEYFwS7sjx3Gm9vGHxz0aGzxRGs/s1600/iraqi-child-covering-eyes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC9dQqnv_HUx77HaUbyJP8MH-2cUNcPyMgaP4VC0u9DNYy-kS2YG1Qp4wC85dYcli0P895yhJfUTFSEiyxVj8RgqiVwCRxrI1gurmGL_QUrpk1gbz1WEYFwS7sjx3Gm9vGHxz0aGzxRGs/s320/iraqi-child-covering-eyes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After
the streets fall silent<br />
After the bruises and the tear-gassed eyes are healed<br />
After the concensus has returned<br />
After the memories of Kent and My Lai and Hiroshima<br />
lose their power<br />
and their connections with each other<br />
and the sweaters labeled Made in Taiwan<br />
After the last American dies in Canada<br />
and the last Korean in prison<br />
and the last Indian at Pine Ridge<br />
After the last whale is emptied from the sea<br />
and the last leopard emptied from its skin<br />
and the last drop of blood refined by Exxon</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">After
the last iron door clangs shut<br />
behind the last conscience<br />
and the last loaf of bread is hammered into bullets<br />
and the bullets<br />
scattered among the hungry<br />
<br />
What answers will you find<br />
What armor will protect you<br />
when your children ask you<br />
<br />
Why?</span><br />
<br />
<b>Copyright © 1977 by W. D. Ehrhart</b><br />
<span class="style9"><i>Rootless</i>, Samisdat, 1977</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07666198004161739593noreply@blogger.com0